


disturbance of the peace

by peachsneakers



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxceit - Freeform, Anxiety, Blood, Choking, Depression, Disordered Eating, He gets better, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pre-Episode: Accepting Anxiety, Remus typical stuff, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Starvation, Suicidal Thoughts, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Remus Sanders, Unsympathetic Roman, Violence, at least at first, eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2020-08-20 07:04:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 25,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20223802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: Sometimes Virgil doesn't know why he even bothers.





	1. fight or flight

**Author's Note:**

> should i be uploading this? no. i was gonna upload it when it was all done and see how i felt about doing it that way.
> 
> i'm too hecking impatient, that's how i feel.

Virgil sinks out before he can say something he regrets. Angry tears thicken his throat and sting his eyes as he flings himself on his bed, grabbing his favorite pair of headphones and shoving them roughly over his ears.

He doesn't know why he's so upset, anyway. It's nothing unusual. Princey just insulted him- _again_\- but he didn't expect it to be so...

No one cared. To be fair, he isn't sure if Patton even _heard_. And he's not about to ask. Better to leave it up to chance than find out for sure what the moral side _actually_ thinks of him. Although Patton's always treated him relatively decently, the same can't be said for the others.

_That's not true,_ his conscience pricks. He's had a few moments with Logan, seeing eye-to-eye. And after the debate was pretty funny, when Logan made that "your mom" joke.

But Roman-

And his own _person_-

Even _Thomas_ doesn't want him around, he always makes that abundantly clear. Virgil knows the script by now, the startled jump, the tiny look of fear that morphs into surprise and anger. What's _Anxiety_ doing here? We were doing just fine _without him_. And then they expect him to hand over his _name_? He snorts, punching a pillow into better shape. _As if. _Why would he hand over something as precious as that?

_We don't need your mopey dopey input, anyway, all you do is tear Thomas down!_ Roman's words echo in his ears. He wonders if anyone's even noticed that he's ducked out. If they have, they're probably just relieved that he's finally gone. Never mind how hard he tries to protect Thomas. All he's ever wanted to _do_ is protect Thomas. All he's ever tried is to _help._

_But are you really?_ His mind asks. _Are you really helping? You think it helps to make him _anxious?_ You feel miserable all the time and you're the living personification of Anxiety. Do you just want to make him feel like shit, too? Misery shares company, am I right?_

_No_, Virgil weakly argues. _That isn't it- I'm important- my _job_ is important-_

_Prove it_, his mind challenges. _No one would even miss you, and you know it._

_Patton would,_ he says, but he knows that's a pathetic argument. Patton would miss _anyone._ Hell, he'd probably miss Re-

Well, perhaps it's best he not go down that particular route of thought, lest he somehow manage to summon the Duke. Last time that happened, it took him the better part of a week to wash out the bloodstains.

He curls up into a ball, yanking his blankets over him. It doesn't matter. Princey's been an asshole to him before. Constantly, in fact. Why is _this_ time any different?

_Because you know he's right..._

_Shut up!_ He hisses at his own mind. _He is not right. Thomas needs anxiety. He needs_ me_. Something bad could happen if I wasn't there._

_The others could handle it,_ his mind says indifferently. _Logan's already out-logic'ed_ you, _hasn't he? He could out-logic any other bad situation. Roman has the creativity to put together a solution and as for emotions, well, Patton's the heart. They don't _need_ you._

Virgil has no response to that.


	2. virgil in the bedroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to upload another chapter, oops

He wakes crumpled under a heap of blankets, his headphones still playing some Panic! At The Disco song. His eyes feel crusty and his mouth is painfully dry. For a moment, he can't remember what happened, but then it all floods back. Virgil winces.

He's taken to occasionally wandering down during mealtimes, despite Princey's scorn, but he can't find a reason to bother today. Patton's never indicated that he minds making food for one more, but that doesn't mean that's true. And he has enough snacks stashed around his room...

And it isn't like he actually _needs_ to eat. The main reason he's taken to doing so is to try and cover up how painfully thin he is as a matter of course (he supposes it can be chalked up to being Thomas's "fight or flight" but he isn't actually sure). His hoodies serve multiple purposes, but a primary one is staying warm.

But he doesn't intend on showing up any time soon if he can help it, so what does it matter? It isn't like anyone is going to notice that he's not there. And if he's so _unwanted,_ then he'll just ignore the next summons he gets, too. They got along just fine without him, after all, as Princey is so fond of reminding him. Let them get along without him anymore. Thomas's well-being will only_ improve._

_That's not true,_ Virgil tries to tell himself, but even his own reassurances sound hollow as he reluctantly hauls himself out of bed and into his attached bathroom to splash water on his eyes. He's relieved he has his own bathroom. He doesn't know what he'd do if he had to share with _them_. He'd never manage to bathe, and then that would be but one more tool in their arsenal.

_Deceit never treated you this way_, his mind whispers and now that he's fully awake, looking into his own haunted eyes in the mirror, he has to acknowledge the truth in that statement. Perhaps Deceit has not always been the _nicest,_ but despite the name he wore like a badge, he had always remained honest in his intentions. The others are supposed to be 'good,' whatever that meant. But they treated him worse than dog shit, and Virgil can't help but wonder if that's all he deserves.

Downstairs, he can vaguely hear the sounds of the others having breakfast. And just like he thought, not a single one asks where he is. He tries to pretend it doesn't hurt as he crawls back into bed. Maybe he'll eat something later. Maybe not. If he really got hungry, he could always sneak downstairs after everyone had gone to bed. He just had to be very, very careful not to get caught, because it would be used as proof of his wrong-doing, no matter the real (and very simple) reason that he was just hungry.

Perhaps he was being uncharitable, but he really doesn't think he is, especially when it comes to Roman. Roman _hates_ him, and Virgil hates him right back, because he'll be damned if he shows the slightest hint of weakness to a side that despises him.

He doesn't think the other two _hate_ him. Patton's very...effusive in his attempts to praise Virgil (no matter how uncomfortable it makes him, he still kind of appreciates it). Logan's had his moments, like the debate. It helped to hear that just because Logan had called him a defeatist, it didn't mean that he didn't like him.

But it still doesn't matter, he reminds himself, curling in on himself. Despite it all, they're probably relieved he isn't out there. He's just a downer, anyway.

"Virgil," a smooth voice says out of nowhere. "_Why_ do you persist on lying to yourself so _loudly_?"


	3. snek boi do a blep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am uploading/editing this to "the phantom of the opera" and it's literally perfect

Virgil doesn't even turn over, he just groans at this new intrusion.

"Deceit, what do you want?" He asks. "I'm busy."

"Self pity isn't a job, I'm afraid," Deceit murmurs. "And I_ just_ told you why I've shown up, _do_ try and keep up." Virgil huffs an annoyed breath and finally sits up, turning to face his unwelcome visitor.

Scales cover half of Deceit's face, shadowed by the dark hat he insists on wearing. Yellow gloves cover his hands, and a black cape swings round his shoulders. He cuts quite a figure. Not that Virgil's in any mood to appreciate it.

"I know full well that you don't _have_ to show up because of internal lies, so shut it," Virgil says, throwing a pillow at him. One of his extra hands catches it easily, tossing it right back and forcing Virgil to dodge.

"Perhaps," Deceit says, dropping the pretense. "But I'm...concerned for you."

"Why?" Virgil asks bitterly. "I _left_, remember? You don't have to pretend to give a shit anymore."

"If you think me caring about you was mere pretense, then you don't know me half as well as you think you do," Deceit says, hissing his s's. "Just because you've decided to move doesn't mean I am capable of shutting off my emotions like a faucet. Even Remus misses you."

"Don't-" Virgil starts, alarmed, before Deceit laughs.

"Don't worry," he says. "I left him in a suitably complicated escape room. He's fine for a little while. Now. Why don't we talk about these internal conflicts, shall we?"

"There's nothing to say," Virgil says shortly, looking down at his nails. He's bitten them to the quick again, and a few of them are still bloody-looking.

"You fear that the others will never accept you," Deceit says, his voice quiet. Virgil's head jerks up. "Ah. So I'm right then."

"Why should they?" Virgil dully asks. "I mean, _look_ at me. I'm _Anxiety_. Why would anyone want to keep me around?"

"I do," Deceit says. "Self preservation... Deceit and anxiety go hand-in-hand for that, you know. How else can we keep Thomas safe? The others don't understand that. They're...sheltered. Through no fault of their own, I suppose." His mouth twists. His scales glitter in the purple-hued lights.

"Thomas could get along just fine without me," Virgil denies. Deceit's tongue flickers out, tasting the air, before he makes a face.

"That was a _terrible_ lie, Virgil," Deceit frowns. "What if Thomas met a dangerous person on his way home?"

"You could get him away," Virgil says. Deceit leans closer.

"Ah, but I am not his fight or flight," Deceit points out. "There is only so much I can do on my own."

"Well..." Virgil trails off, uncomfortable. "All right, so maybe I'm good for _one_ thing. But that's_ it_. I'm not- I'm not important."

"Lies," Deceit murmurs, his tongue flicking the air again. "You're more important than you realize, Virgil. The others are fools if they won't accept you. Although I have seen pleasant interactions?"

"Patton's okay," Virgil mumbles, scratching at a scab on his wrist. Deceit frowns at it. "And Logan. But Roman hates me."

"His twin likes you," Deceit says. Virgil snorts.

"I'm not sure that makes me feel better," he says. "But uh, thanks. I guess that's true." Remus scared him, but he has to admit at some points, they'd made a good...team? Almost?

But he doesn't want to _frighten_ Thomas anymore, not like _that_.

"Go down for lunch," Deceit orders. "You're thin, as it is."

"Oh, and you aren't?" Virgil retorts. "You don't eat, either."

"Who's going to cook down there?" Deceit asks. "I don't have the _time_ and if_ Remus_ did it..." He trails off in a theatrical shudder. Virgil almost joins him. The amount of inedible and/or flat out poisonous things Remus would consider a hearty meal doesn't bear thinking about.

"Fine, here," Virgil says, darting across the room and pressing a pack of oatmeal raisin granola bars into Deceit's gloved hands. He stares at them in surprise.

"It's no big deal," Virgil mumbles. "Just- now you have no excuse."

"Thank you, Virgil," Deceit says, tucking them away. "Remember. Lunch-"

"Yeah, yeah," Virgil flaps an awkward hand. "I'll- I'll try. I can't promise anything else."

"Acceptable," Deceit pronounces. "See you around, Virgil."

And with that, he gracefully sinks out.


	4. tense civilities

The closer lunch time draws near, the sicker Virgil feels and the more he wants to skip it, too. He's skipped every meal in a day before, so he doesn't think the others would say anything. And besides, what if they already planned out what they wanted to do for lunch, and his presence ruins it? _Like you ruin everything._

Then he hears a knock on his door and freezes, his heartbeat thudding madly in his chest.

"Kiddo?" It's Patton's voice and what is _Patton_ doing outside _his_ door, and before he can think about it too closely, he's jumped up and flung the door open, revealing a bespectacled Morality, beaming at him.

"I missed you at breakfast!" Patton says, and Virgil's throat tightens. "I thought maybe if I asked you to come down to lunch... If you want..." He trails off hopefully.

"Sure," Virgil croaks. "I uh, just need to put on my socks-" He half-closes the door while he goes in hunt of a sturdy enough pair to handle the chill of the kitchen floor. The only ones he can find are_ Nightmare Before Christmas_ themed. Good enough.

Patton's still waiting when he pulls the door open again, his hands tucked into the cat paws of his hoodie. He grins when he sees Virgil.

"Let's go!" Patton says, enthusiastic. Virgil wishes he could match it as he skulks down the stairs behind him, a scudding bit of shadow to go with Patton's sunshine.

"Look who I found," Patton announces happily to the other two. Logan unbends enough to give a short smile in Virgil's direction, but Princey's face is full of doubt.

"I didn't know we were in need of doom and gloom at the lunch table," Roman says. Virgil hunches his shoulders, trying to hide in his hoodie, as Patton loudly scolds the creative side.

"Roman, you know that was totally uncalled for, Anxiety's done nothing wrong, he deserves to eat, too," Patton continues, his face flushed.

"All right, all right," Roman says, holding his hands out in a conciliatory gesture. "I'm sorry." But Virgil notices his eyes remain firmly on Patton. _That's_ who he's apologizing to. Not _Virgil._

But Patton doesn't notice and guides Virgil to a free chair (thankfully not by Roman).

"Is grilled cheese okay?" Patton asks over one shoulder.

"Uh, yeah," Virgil says, when it becomes obvious Patton is waiting for an answer. He feels awkward, sitting normally in a chair, but doesn't dare tuck his feet up. No matter how cold they feel.

_It will be fine,_ he tries to tell himself.

"What have you been up to today, Anxiety?" Logan asks, his expression showing that he feels just as awkward as Virgil does.

"Just listening to music and stuff," he mumbles. "Uh, what about you?"

"Re-organizing Thomas's schedule for the next week and reading a fascinating treatise on the stars," Logan answers promptly. Virgil slumps, inadequacy descending over him like a shroud. "What music do you listen to?"

"Just...I dunno," Virgil says. "Panic! At The Disco and Evanescence and stuff."

"How utterly expected," Roman mutters, just loud enough for Virgil to hear. His stomach cramps and the smell of the grilled cheese sandwich Patton's busy making has nausea throbbing in his throat.

_Is this really worth it?_ He thinks, picking at his thumbnail dully. _I tried, Deceit. But what's the fucking point? This is the most awkward meal time I've ever had and this time, I actually_ want_ it to go all right_.

"Here you go!" Patton says cheerily, sliding a plate and glass in front of him. Two diagonally cut grilled cheese sandwiches are carefully arranged on the plate, and Patton's apparently decided the only proper drink for him is chocolate milk._ Milk._

_Whatever._

"Thank you, Patton," Virgil says, trying to be polite. He still waits until the others has been served, including Patton, before he lifts a grilled cheese corner to his mouth.

It's good, but it's hard to choke anything down when his stomach is throwing a riot and his throat has tightened to the size of a pinhole. Logan isn't looking at him, but he swears he can feel Princey's judgmental stare. This was such a dumb idea. He shouldn't have listened to Deceit. There's nothing wrong with a granola bar or a bag of chips for lunch, it isn't like he's Thomas and _needs_ to eat properly.

"Anxiety, if you'd like, you can stay downstairs," Patton offers. "Roman and I were going to watch a movie."

"Nah, I'm good," Virgil says, putting down the rest of his sandwich. He can almost _see_ Roman's relief that he didn't agree, and it hurts more than he thought it would. "I uh, have stuff to do."

"Leave Thomas alone today," Roman says. "He needs a break."

_And I don't?_ Virgil sneers internally. It's not like he _likes_ having panic attacks or being so stressed out, all he can do is curl into the tightest ball he can and scream into his pillow.

But Roman won't listen (or care, let's be real).

"I'm uh, gonna go," Virgil says, deciding to sink out to his room instead of plodding back up the stairs. As he does, he misses the concerned look Patton gives his still mostly full plate.

He's only eaten half a sandwich.


	5. round 2 with a snek boi

"Deceit," Virgil announces to the middle of his empty room, his hands clenched fists in his hoodie sleeves. "That was an unmitigated disaster."

"I noticed," Deceit says dryly, slipping out of the shadows. His snake eye glitters yellow in the light and Virgil involuntarily takes a step back. "I _also_ noticed you barely ate."

"You try eating when Princey keeps looking like he wants to run you through with his sword for existing," Virgil mumbles, flopping onto his bed. "It's not as easy as it looks."

"Here," Deceit says, dropping a Pepsi bottle and a granola bar in his lap. "Eat."

Virgil finds it easier to down the granola bar in Deceit's presence. He wonders what that's supposed to say about him. Is he evil? He doesn't feel evil. He feels pretty normal. But Deceit's supposed to be _Dark_. Like Virgil.

He can't bring himself to care.

"Remus sends his regards," Deceit says, making a face. "And to his brother. I wonder how that will go, if Remus decides to pop up in his room."

"You'll get in trouble," Virgil says with real regret. He'd love to see Princey discomfited by his brother, the one he so often pretends doesn't exist. If it bothers Remus, he doesn't talk about it much.

"It might be worth it," Deceit murmurs. "But you are probably right. Anyway. Logan and Patton seemed to enjoy your company."

"Patton would enjoy a rock's company," Virgil retorts. "And Logan was reading a book."

"I heard you talk to him," Deceit says. "It sounded pleasant enough." Virgil shrugs.

"I guess," he says. "It was just really awkward."

"It's _Logan_," Deceit says, inclining one eyebrow. "What did you expect?"

"I don't know," Virgil mumbles. "I just- I feel like Patton's charity case, Logan's barely tolerated nuisance, and the unfortunate object of Princey's abject hatred."

"Do you want to return?" Deceit asks, something Virgil can't define stirring to life in his eyes. He also knows exactly what Deceit's asking and he-

He doesn't have an answer.

"I don't know," he finally admits, the words painfully squeezed out. He scrunches his eyes shut, waiting for scorn, but there is nothing.

"You can always come back," Deceit says, after a long pause. "But do give the others more time to...acclimate, would you?"

"I don't know what I want to do," Virgil says, picking at his nails. "Or where I'm supposed to be. What I _should_ do. I'm supposed to _protect_ Thomas. But lately..." He trails off, shaking his head. "It feels like I've just been preventing him from doing _anything._"

"Not true, first of all," Deceit says. "And second of all, you_ do_ protect Thomas. Remember that guy on the bus the other day? I could smell his evil intentions a mile away."

"We had to walk two blocks in the rain and everyone thought I was just being an asshole," Virgil points out bitterly. "I dunno, Deceit. Wouldn't it be better for everyone if I just...ducked out?"

"No," Deceit says sharply. "Was lunch that much of an ordeal? That you forgot our entire conversation beforehand? Thomas_ needs_ you."

"I'd still be...around," Virgil says, flapping a hand half-caught in his hoodie sleeve. "Just in the subconscious, that's all."

"You wouldn't be a _person_ anymore, Virgil, _no_," Deceit insists. "At least make more of a trial of the others before you decide on a solution so permanent."

Virgil hesitates, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Fine," he acquiesces. "I don't think it's gonna make any difference though."

"We'll see," Deceit hisses roughly, abruptly sinking out.


	6. remus, no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now deceit for a chapter :)

Deceit frowns as the familiar lines of his room come up around him, fresh blood oozing down the walls in sloppy trickles. He sighs, pinching his nose.

"Remus!" He shouts. "What have I told you about redecorating my room?"

"Not to do it," Remus says grumpily, appearing next to him. He snaps his fingers and the blood is gone. "I thought you'd _like_ it..."

"I will never like blood spatter on my wallpaper," Deceit says firmly. "And you know it."

"You were with Virgil," Remus complains. "I was bored. Why do you wanna talk to _him_? He _left_."

"Because," Deceit says shortly. He can't begin to untangle the clusterfuck of emotions surrounding his and Virgil's relationship. He sure as hell isn't going to attempt it for Remus's enjoyment.

"I wanna visit my brother," Remus says, wiggling in place.

"No," Deceit says, like he does every time. "You know that you aren't allowed over there."

"Well, I _should_ be," Remus says bitterly. Deceit sighs. He's not sure whether or not he agrees, if he's honest. On the one hand, Remus deserves time with his brother, to reconnect.

On the other, the man is the personification of chaos. Not a very good combination for the Light Sides, at least how they are now. How they _pretend_ to be.

"If Virgil is allowed, I should be," Remus persists.

"Do you really _want_ to be around the others?" Deceit points out, feigning boredom. "They're so...dull."

"Roman's not," Remus says automatically, but Deceit can tell the cogs are working behind Remus's manic eyes. 'Dull' is a half-truth, but Remus doesn't need to know that. After all, _Remus_ would certainly find them that way.

"It's better this way, anyway, with us," Deceit says, but he can tell he's gone too far by the way the Duke's eyes black out.

"Not without _VIRGIL,_" Remus screeches, and abruptly sinks out. Deceit isn't sure if he should be relieved or worried. Fiddling with his glove, he finally decides to go find the mercurial side and has to duck a frenzied swing of Remus's mace.

"I didn't mean it that way," Deceit blurts out, freezing Remus mid-swing. The creative side's room is trashed again. More than usual. "Of course I miss Virgil, Remus. He- it doesn't feel _right_ without him. I _meant_ us not going there...too..."

His human eye mists with tears and he slumps down on the ground, holding his head in his hands, letting his hat slip free. After a second, Remus sighs and flops down, too, hurling his mace down with a careless thump.

"It's their fault we aren't allowed anyway," Remus says. "Stupid _Morality._ He _broke us_-" His fist smashes into his thigh once, hard enough to make Deceit wince. "I'm not _bad_."

"Nor am I," Deceit acknowledges quietly. "Sometimes deception is essential to survival. At least Morality seems to be giving Virgil a chance."

"My brother isn't," Remus says, his voice bleak.

And Deceit doesn't know what to say to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter has a n g s t


	7. hindsight is 20/20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm an impatient bean
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING for violence and choking
> 
> and a n g s t
> 
> roman is not a good bean in this chapter

In hindsight, Virgil knows that he shouldn't have said anything. Princey already doesn't like him, there's no need to make it worse.

But Patton coaxes him down for dinner (this time, it's homemade meatloaf), and Virgil's able to relax a _tiny_ bit more, and even eat more of the meatloaf and mashed potatoes (that taste good because Patton's a surprisingly good cook). Logan's reading another book at the table, somehow never getting so much as a crumb on the pages. Patton and Roman talk about some Disney movie, and Virgil's free to just...exist.

He likes that. He's here, he's nominally included, Patton made him up a plate, but there's no pressure to interact. After all, his nerves are still a little raw from lunch time and this feels less...panic-inducing.

And then Roman glances his way.

"What about you, Panic! At The Everywhere?" He asks. "Who do you like in _Frozen_?"

"Huh?" Virgil asks blankly. He's not been keeping up with the conversation at all, and his eyes dart between Princey and Patton.

"Is it Hans?" Roman asks slyly. "You like the _bad guys_, don't you?"

"I like Elsa," Virgil says, his voice just as icy as her powers.

"Roman, be nice," Patton admonishes, but Virgil can feel his appetite evaporate, his throat tightening. Thankfully, everyone seems to be done, so he's free to push his chair back.

He doesn't know what possesses him to do it. Before Roman can make it into the living room, Virgil reaches him and whispers in his ear.

"Remus says hi."

The next thing he knows, he's being slammed into the wall, Roman's hand squeezing around his throat. Dim shouts of alarm echo around him, but all he can focus on is his slowly darkening vision and the pain flaring in his throat as Roman chokes him.

"Roman, _enough_!" Logan shouts, and the sheer fury in his voice gives even Virgil pause. Roman reluctantly lets go and Virgil drops like a stone, his ankle folding under him and his head cracking off the wall hard enough to cross his eyes.

"Roman, that was unacceptable," Logan says coldly, his arms folded over his chest. "No matter how you feel about Anxiety, it is _not acceptable_ to cause physical harm like that-"

"I deserved it," Virgil croaks. It _hurts_ to talk- oh, how badly it hurts- but he has to get it out. Logan looks incredulous.

"Anxiety, he slammed you against the wall and choked you," he points out. "I do not see how you could possibly deserve it." Roman looks like a cornered animal, eyes wide and chest heaving.

"I s-said-"

"It doesn't matter what you said." Now Patton enters the conversation, towering and righteously angry. Virgil cringes under the force of that wrath, and Patton immediately softens. "I don't know _what_ you said, kiddo, and you don't have to repeat it, but Roman, _you_ shouldn't have lost your temper."

"I- I apologize," Roman says slowly. He looks badly shaken and Virgil doesn't understand why. He _deserves_ this, the burning pain in his throat, the lump rising on his head, the throbbing in his ankle.

"It's fine," Virgil mutters. He tries to stand, and his leg immediately buckles. Logan and Patton try to reach out to stabilize him, but he shrinks away. "I'll uh- I'll just go."

And he sinks out to his room before anyone can stop him.

"Deceit!" He wheezes into the shadows, hoping beyond hope that Deceit's willing to be summoned. He doesn't think he can patch himself up alone, and he's not willing to ask anyone else. Morality would, there's no doubt of that, but he doesn't _want_ Patton to help, not when he's the one who wound Roman up in the first place.

_Let's be real, though_, a little voice whispers as he stumbles to the bed and collapses onto it. _You thought he might get mad. Yell a little. Shake you, maybe, if he really got physical. You never thought he'd _strangle_ you, did you?_

_No,_ Virgil answers. It's an action more than a little reminiscent of Remus, in the throes of his worst. But Remus has intrusive thoughts and impulses out the ass. Not an excuse, but an explanation. What's _Roman's_?

"Virgil, what an_ unpleasant_ surprise, I- what the fuck happened to you?!" Deceit blurts, dashing to his side and examining the finger-shaped bruises around his neck.

"Who did this?" Deceit asks. His voice echoes and doubles back on itself, making Virgil shiver. His eye glows vivid yellow.

"It's my fault," Virgil croaks. "I- I taunted him, I shouldn't have said-"

"Roman," Deceit says with grim certainty. "What did you say, Virgil? I have a difficult time believing it was anything that warranted _this_."

"I told him Remus says hi," Virgil whispers. God, his throat hurts.

"I was right, that doesn't warrant this at all," Deceit says. "If he's that touchy about his brother, perhaps Remus _should_ pay him a visit."

"No!" Virgil cries, alarmed. "He'll only blame me."

"Virgil, he _hurt_ you," Deceit stresses. "I can't fix you here. You need to come to my room."

"Your room?" Virgil croaks. Deceit nods, his yellow gloved fingers gentle as he coaxes Virgil to stand, helping him lean and take his weight off his injured ankle.

He closes his eyes as Deceit sinks down, taking him with him. The world spins around him, and he would have fallen if Deceit wasn't supporting him.

Deceit's room is warm, almost stiflingly so. A giant heat lamp bathes Deceit's heating rock in soft light. For once, it doesn't look like a whirlwind has torn through it.

"Sit," Deceit directs, gently guiding Virgil to the edge of his bed. Virgil willingly sinks down, the pain in his ankle now nearly unbearable. He wonders if he broke it and that's why it hurts so badly.

"Let me see your ankle," Deceit murmurs, kneeling on the floor with practiced grace. It hurts when he unlaces Virgil's sneaker and the yank on Virgil's shoe nearly makes him pass out, his vision going white for a moment.

"Well, that isn't nasty at all," Deceit drawls, staring at the swollen, mottled flesh. He summons a bulky first aid kit. "I'll wrap it, but it will hurt," Deceit warns. Virgil nods, teeth sunk into his bottom lip. Deceit's hands are gentle, but it still hurts so much, Virgil nearly splits his own lip.

"There we go," Deceit says. "What else?"

"Hit my head," Virgil says, his voice creaky. Deceit stands and Virgil finds himself carefully pressed into the soft material of Deceit's shirt as his gloved fingers probe the lump on Virgil's head.

"You shouldn't have a concussion, but I'm not sure," Deceit admits. "I'd prefer you to spend the night here, but-"

"I can't," Virgil rasps, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. Deceit frowns.

"Virgil, one of them tried to _kill_ you," Deceit points out. "Why...why go back?"


	8. poor unfortunate soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have some bonding
> 
> roman maaaay show up next chapter

"You didn't see Logan or Patton," Virgil mumbles, staring at the floor. It hurts to talk, but he has to get this out, he _has_ to tell Deceit why-

"They were furious," he continues. "_Logic_ was _furious_, Dee, you should have seen it, I never- And Patton- He didn't even _care_ that I said something to provoke it, he just told Roman he was wrong."

"What did my ickle brother do?" Remus asks, popping in, uninvited, before Deceit can say anything. Deceit sighs in exasperation.

"Remus, what have I told you-" But it's a lost cause as soon as Remus's eyes catch sight of Virgil.

"Virgey!" He crows, rushing to Virgil's side. _Then_ he picks out the very obvious, very _recent_ finger-shaped bruises around Virgil's throat.

"_Who did that?_" Remus whispers, oddly still. His eyes are bright, changeling green and his teeth are bared, but it's not in a smile, and Virgil can see, with dim, swooping terror, that all of them are very, _very_ pointy.

"Remus, stop it, you're scaring him," Deceit orders, pulling on his sleeve. Remus blinks and his eyes return to normal- if that's what you can call it.

"My brother did it, didn't he," Remus says, his voice deadened. Virgil nods once, his head throbbing with the movement. "Why?"

"I told him you said hi," Virgil admits ruefully.

"I see." Remus is silent for a moment. "Maybe I need to pay my respects in _person_ then."

"Remus," Deceit warns. "If you fight Virgil's battles for him, Roman will just blame it all on him. I presume that's not what you want?"

"Of course not, what do you take me for?" Remus snaps. "But that doesn't mean I can't...have fun..." He leans in closer, until Virgil can smell the deodorant on his breath.

"What about the others?" He breathes. "I want to play with them, too. Play with _Morality_." His face twists in an ugly sneer. "It's_ his_ fault we're like this. His fault we're apart."

"Well, unfortunately for you, my dear Remus, it appears Logic and Morality defended Virgil," Deceit drawls. "So your vengeance on _them_ will have to wait." Brash as he is, Remus does not miss the inference. He grins, his teeth showing.

"My twin won't know what _hit_ him," Remus crows. Deceit groans.

"No lasting physical damage," he orders. Remus salutes him.

"Righty-o Daddy-o," he says.

"Never call me that again," Deceit says. Virgil has to bite his lip to hide a laugh.

"Sure thing, Dad-icus Maximus," Remus says, finger-gunning at the frustrated side. Deceit put his head in his hands, mumbling something Virgil couldn't quite make out but sounded like a litany of profanities.

"How do you feel?" Deceit finally asks, looking up at Virgil.

"I hurt," Virgil says truthfully. There's little point in saying otherwise. Deceit can sense a lie regardless, but it's much more pronounced in his own room. "But a little less."

"Good," Deceit says. "I should give you some pain medication..." He rummages around in the first aid kit, emerging triumphantly with an orange bottle.

"Ooh," Remus says, peering at the bottle with interest. Deceit frowns at him.

"Don't even think about it," he says, shaking out two pills. "It's bad enough dealing with you when you _aren't_ high."

"What exactly are you giving me?" Virgil asks, worried.

"Pain meds," Deceit says. "Thomas had them at some point, so they're in the first aid kit. They should help."

Deceit conjures up a glass of water and Virgil tentatively swallows them. His throat throbs with pain when he tries, but after draining the glass, he no longer feels like both pills are stuck in the middle of his esophagus, ready to choke and kill him. _Like Rom-_

_Could you shut up?_ He demands of his mind. _I don't want to think about it anymore._ His body begs to differ.

"I should get back to my room," Virgil says reluctantly. "The others might come looking for me. Well, Patton might."

"We're sleeping over," Deceit says at once. "I'll keep Remus under control. You might have a concussion, I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone."

"I'm just a _side_, it's fine," Virgil points out, exasperated.

"With human-like characteristics," Deceit retorts. Virgil sighs.

"Fine," he reluctantly acquiesces. "But Remus better not redecorate."

"Scout's honor," Remus says solemnly, holding his fingers up in an obscene gesture.

"Remus, you were never a scout," Deceit says, weary. "They wouldn't take you if you'd tried."

"Same difference," Remus dismisses with an exaggerated shoulder wiggle.

Virgil groans.


	9. a dastardly plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so about roman...

Roman looks at the place Anxiety sunk down, guilt and shame crashing over him like a tidal wave. He doesn't need the others' censure to feel it crushing him. He hasn't lost his temper like that in a _long_ time. He had hoped he never would again. Patton wasn't the only one who could feel.

He just- that stupid, little _smirk_ on Anxiety's face when he said it. _Remus says hi._ As if Roman wants to be reminded of his brother, the relative who is the antithesis to everything he stands for. The twin he is terrified of becoming.

And now... How could he not claim he was? He _choked_ Anxiety. He slammed him into a wall and choked him, for three little words. He knows Anxiety must have just wanted to get in a little dig, something annoying but ultimately harmless, and he- he had-

"Roman," Logan says, and his voice is full of emotions that Roman doesn't want to think about right now. "We need to talk."

"I-" The words stick in his throat. He looks up and Logan and Patton are there, their faces angry and disappointed and closed-off, all at once.

"I can't," Roman blurts out, and sinks down to his room before they can stop him. He sinks to his knees as soon as his feet touch the fluffy white carpet, shaking.

What must the others think of him? They're going to _hate_ him now, and it's all his fault. He didn't mean to hurt Anxiety, not like that. He just meant to scare him. Scare him for bringing up Remus, and now his throat must be all shades of messed up, Roman heard the crack of Anxiety's head hitting the wall, and who knows what else is wrong with him. And _Roman did that._

"Pull it together, Roman," he whispers to himself, his voice hoarse. He doesn't have much time before the others show up in his room, he knows that much.

The beginnings of a desperate plan breathe their way to life within his mind and he frowns. It's wrong- he _knows_ he shouldn't do it-

And yet...

Roman scrambles to his feet. He has to see himself for this to work (_what are you doing, Roman, this is crazy, just accept what you've done and move on already_) and in moments, he's standing in front of his mirror. He closes his eyes once, briefly, swallowing as he works up the courage.

Then his fist comes up and smashes himself in the eye.

It _hurts_\- an explosion of pain that radiates from his eye socket and out to his nose and cheek- but he sags in relief anyway because he can see the purple and black blooming in an angry, reddened splotch. His knuckles are reddened, but not bruised, and anyway, he can hide that until the guilty stain wears off.

Just in time, because Logan's firm knock sounds on his door a moment later.

"Come in," he chokes out, not having to fake the tears threatening.

Patton rushes to him as soon as the door opens, his eyes enormous behind his glasses when he catches sight of Roman's black eye.

"Roman, what _happened_?" He asks, hands fluttering uselessly in front of him.

"Anxiety-" Roman forces himself to say. The lie burns his tongue. He doesn't have to say anything else, the other two fill in the blanks themselves, although Logan has an odd look on his face, like he doesn't quite believe what Roman's trying to say.

That doesn't matter, though. _Patton_ believes and Patton's the one who keeps trying to welcome Anxiety, inviting him down for meals, trying to invite him to movies, etc. Maybe now Patton will stop trying to shoehorn in a _disorder._

_He's more than that and you know it_, a voice whispers disapprovingly in his head. Roman resolutely ignores it, letting Patton fuss over him instead.

"Hitting isn't okay, either," Patton says, clucking over the bruises spreading over Roman's cheekbone. "Here-" He conjures up an ice pack and hands it to Roman. "Put that over your eye. It should take down the swelling."

"I'm going to check on Anxiety," Logan states, leaving the room before Patton can call him back.

_What if he knows?_ Roman's mind yammers at him, but he tells it firmly to shut up. It will be fine. Logan wouldn't believe _Anxiety_ over him.

Would he?


	10. confrontation say what

The knock on the door startles him, but he's been expecting it. Deceit drags a silently protesting Remus into the bathroom as Virgil hobbles over to the door.

To his surprise, Logan stands on the other side. The other side looks uncharacteristically nervous, fidgeting with his tie.

"May I come in?" Logan requests.

"I guess," Virgil rasps. He steps back to allow Logan entrance, hissing through his teeth as the movement jars his bad ankle.

"How are you?" Logan asks.

"How does it look like?" Virgil grits out. _Please stay in the bathroom_, he silently pleads. He knows that Deceit will, but if Logan says or does the wrong thing...

"What injuries did you sustain?" Logan clarifies. "When Roman attacked you."

"My neck," Virgil says, pointing to the bruises still livid on his pale skin. "Hit my head. And my ankle hurts like a bitch. Why do you care?"

"You are a part of Thomas and it was wrong for Roman to attack you," Logan rebuts, shaking his head. "But on the subject of Roman..." He pauses. Virgil's anxiety spikes. Logan's nervous. For _Logic_ to be nervous...

"Roman has a black eye," Logan says carefully. "He says that you attacked him." Virgil freezes in utter shock, his ears buzzing.

"_What?_" He sputters. Panic squeezes his throat with a vice grip, making his heart thud viciously in his chest.

"Patton is attending to him," Logan continues. "I...have my doubts. You look barely capable of making it to your bed, Anxiety, let alone punching Roman."

"I couldn't- I _didn't_\- I n-never-" Virgil can't get a coherent sentence out, sputtering in his anxiety. Logan looks conflicted as they hear Patton call Logan's name.

"I apologize," Logan says. "I must go. But Anxiety-" He turns to look at Virgil as he leaves. "I do not believe that you did it."

And with that, he's gone, leaving Virgil free to lock the door behind him and collapse on the floor, hyperventilating.

A rush of swooping fabric accompanies Deceit as he all but flies to Virgil's side, coaxing him up.

"Come on, Virgil, up you get," he says gently, maneuvering Virgil to the bed. Remus supports his other side, strangely quiet. Not that Virgil would hear anything through the blood rushing in his ears, anyway. He can't believe what the logical side has just told him, what it _implies._

_Could_ Roman be cold-hearted enough to give _himself_ a black eye and say that Virgil did it? What does that mean? Logan said that _he_ doesn't believe Virgil did it, but what about Patton? And who does Logan think_ did_ do it? Does he suspect Roman? Does he think _Remus_ did it? If it wasn't for the fact Remus and Deceit have been with them the entire time, _he_ would. Remus isn't shy about expressing his emotions, however violently, and his emotions are _fucked_ when it comes to his brother, especially now.

"Breathe, Virgil," Deceit orders. "Remember your breathing." His cool, ungloved fingers tap out the rhythm on Virgil's wrist. "In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Come on."

Finally-_ finally_\- Virgil gets a handle on his breathing, shaky and fragile as it might be. Deceit slips his glove back on, peering into his eyes.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," Deceit drawls, but Virgil can hear the concern, and it warms him.

"Wh- why would he hit himself?" Virgil whispers miserably.

"I don't know," Deceit says. "To cast himself in a sympathetic light? I imagine he looks pretty _villainous_ at the moment, attacking you the way he did. If you have presumably given him an injury, then you have fought back, and the tables are more equal."

"But I _didn't_," Virgil says, tears burning his eyes. "You _know_ I didn't, I-"

"And apparently so does Logic," Deceit says soothingly. "You were with me the whole time."

"Dee Dee, I wanna play with my brother," Remus says. His teeth look very sharp again. "I'm sure I could do a much _better_ job, I could break his nose and crack his eye sockets and-"

"No," Deceit says, needle sharp. Virgil cringes and Deceit softens again. "Not now, Remus. We have to move very carefully with this. Virgil still wants to- to be around these people, for some godforsaken reason. No matter how much Roman_ deserves_ it, we will be careful. See how the _light_ handle it."

"And if Roman tries to hurt Virgil again?" Remus breathes. Deceit turns to look at him, a slow smile spreading across his face, revealing the tips of his fangs.

"He'll regret it," Deceit says simply. Remus grins.

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear," he crows.


	11. simply illogical

Logan pauses outside Anxiety's door, but he can't hear anything from inside. He wonders if the anxious side has sound-proofed his room. It is a good idea if he has. Logan thinks he would like to imitate it.

After seeing the state Anxiety's in, his mind is even more made up that Anxiety is_ not_ the one who punched Roman. The anxious side looks like a mess. The bruises around his throat are vivid enough to make Logan wince and the painful hobble to open the door looks entirely unfeigned. Logan thinks that Anxiety would likely be able to attack Roman when he is feeling up to par, but like this? When Roman has near-daily quests in the imagination? No.

But if Anxiety didn't punch Roman in the eye, who did? Logan ponders the question as he descends the stairs. Patton was with him, so he knows Morality didn't do it. Not that he can see Morality punching _anyone._ A Nazi perhaps, but that's about it.

The other sides? If Anxiety was, or is, one of them, perhaps. But so quickly? Then again, Logan hadn't heard what Anxiety whispered that upset Roman so. He'd never seen Roman react that way. It shocked him, and Logan isn't someone easily shocked.

Could his brother have done it? Logan has had few encounters with Remus, the 'dark' side of creativity. But here, too, he has a difficult time seeing it, if only because he doubts that an enraged Remus would stop at _just_ a black eye.

He can't see Deceit stooping to violence, either, not physically. One of the others? Logan frowns.

Could _Roman_ have done it? His knuckles had been strangely reddened when he answered the door, Logan noticed that straightaway. As if he had participated in a fight, but when Logan saw Anxiety, there were no corresponding additional injuries that Logan had noticed.

"Logan," Patton calls, jarring him from his thoughts. "Roman's going to bed, I think we need to talk."

"Yes," Logan says, nodding. "I agree."

By mutual unspoken agreement, they end up in Logan's room. Logic is what's needed to prevail here, not sentiment. He is glad that Patton can see that.

"I went to see Anxiety," Logan says, without preamble. "He is injured. I can see bruises around his neck and his ankle is badly swollen. He has wrapped it, but I do not believe that is helping very much."

"Poor Anxiety," Patton bursts out, wringing his hands. "I just don't understand- why would he hit Roman like that?"

"I don't believe he did," Logan admits. Patton stares at him in surprise. "Patton, do you really think that Roman would be unable to defend himself against Anxiety, when he's barely capable of standing up?"

"...Oh," Patton says, reddening out to his ears. "That- I didn't think about that."

"I just cannot figure out who he's protecting," Logan continues. "Another side or...himself."

"Logan!" Patton scolds. "You can't possibly- He wouldn't- _Would_ he?"

"When we entered the room, his knuckles were red," Logan says. "Anxiety had no fresh additional injury that I could see. In addition, the angle at which it must have occurred appeared unusual. While there is no conclusive _proof_ that Roman is the one who punched himself, I do not believe that we can rule it out.

"And until now," Logan continues. "We would never have guessed that Roman would _choke_ Anxiety or in fact, physically hurt Anxiety at all. Yet that has happened. Therefore, it is possible that other things we previously thought impossible could happen as well."

"I guess..." Patton trails off. "I just can't see Roman _doing_ that," he bursts out. "But I can't see him doing _any_ of this. I don't understand."

"If I were to venture a guess, Roman could have punched himself in the eye so you would feel sorry for him," Logan says. "If Anxiety is antagonistic, then it means that Roman can have a clearer conscience."

"But- _He'd_ know..." Patton nervously tugs at the hoodie tied around his neck.

"He would," Logan acknowledges. "But _we_ wouldn't. Or _you_ wouldn't. I believe he is more intent on convincing you."

"It's awful," Patton whispers, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. "The look on Anxiety's face... He was_ terrified._ I don't know what he told Roman, but it couldn't warrant that. It just _couldn't_."

"No, it couldn't," Logan agrees. "But we are unlikely to find out what it was unless Roman or Anxiety tell us, and I don't think that either of them will be willing."

_Now, anyway,_ he thinks as he awkwardly comforts a lap full of upset Patton. Now he is doubly relieved they chose his room for this conversation. Patton's room would have magnified this to an unhealthy degree. At least here, Patton can somewhat keep his logical thinking.

"We'll figure out what to do in the morning," Logan murmurs. "It should be fine, Patton."

"Can I sleep here?" Patton asks hesitantly. Logan pauses, looking into Patton's hopeful, watery eyes.

"All right," he acquiesces. Patton grins.

"Sleepover!" He shouts, and scrambles up, presumably in search of his pajamas. Logan sighs.

But there's a smile on his face as he does it.


	12. dark side sleepover

Virgil sighs, nestled between Deceit and Remus, who is surprisingly un-stinky. Dee must have made him take a shower recently, he muses.

Pixar plays on his TV screen. They didn't even have to talk about it to know that none of them want to see Disney tonight. As added insurance against any of the other sides coming in, Deceit's pushed a bookcase against the door and Virgil's tightened the reins on who can rise up in his room without his permission. At the moment, that privilege solely belongs to Deceit and Remus, and he can't see it changing any time soon.

It's almost funny, he reflects. He feels more at home with them _now_ than he did when they were his only option. Maybe that's the point. Having the _choice_.

He doesn't mind Patton and Logan. Logan even moreso, now that he's found out that Roman's lying to the others. Logic believes _him._ It's a heady thought, and Virgil hopes it stays that way. He doesn't know how he'll take it if he goes downstairs tomorrow and Patton's managed to convince Logan otherwise. Or worse, _Roman_ has.

If that happens, Virgil vows he really will duck out. Screw it. He'll return to Deceit and Remus or he'll duck out. He refuses to stay in a place where someone who _choked_ him is believed over him.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Deceit murmurs in his ear. "They're so loud, even Remus can hear them."

"Just thinking about the morning," Virgil admits hoarsely. "If- if they all believe Roman, I'm leaving. I can't stay, not if-" He stops. Deceit seems to know what he means anyway.

"I'll help move your room back myself," Deceit vows. "You deserve better, Virgil. I know that you and I have had our differences in the past-"

"And me!" Remus chimes in. He cards one hand through Virgil's hair, just the way he likes it, and Virgil relaxes mutely into the touch.

"But we will never treat you that way," Deceit continues. "And _that_ is _not_ a lie. Ever." His eye burns yellow, and Virgil can't help the warm glow that spreads slowly through every limb.

"If Morality and Logic believe my brother, I'll mace them myself," Remus volunteers brightly. "I wanna hit Morality anyway, I wanna-"

"Remus," Deceit gently warns, and Remus stops, although Virgil can sense the frustrated energy thrumming through him.

"It will be all right," Deceit says and Virgil can feel him interlace his fingers with Remus's still atop his head. "Whatever happens, we'll figure it out."

"Thank you," Virgil says, his voice still raspy.

"No more talking," Deceit admonishes, joining Remus in carding through Virgil's hair. "You need to give your throat a break." Well, Virgil couldn't exactly argue with _that._

"Here," Deceit says, snapping his fingers. A smoothie materializes in Virgil's hands and he smiles. It's not easy for the three of them to conjure foodstuffs (hence why Virgil prefers to grab it from the light sides' kitchen), but they can occasionally, if they make the effort. Virgil appreciates the effort, especially when he takes a sip and discovers it's blueberry and mango, his favorite.

"Thank you," he signs. He can almost _feel_ Deceit's smile.

"Shut up and drink your smoothie," Deceit says. "And yes, Remus, I added a spritz of bleach to yours, I know how you like it. Only a spritz, though, I remember last time."

Virgil remembers the last time, too. Even Remus's cast-iron stomach, used to god knows how many toxins, hadn't been able to handle that much bleach. If it wasn't for the fact he _knew_ sides couldn't die, Virgil would have panicked even more.

"Do you think you could eat something?" Deceit asks Virgil. Regretful, Virgil shakes his head. The smoothie is good, the smoothie is cold going down his throat, but he doesn't think that he would be able to eat anything without it getting stuck. Or him _worrying_ that it will, which is, in some ways, worse than the reality of it.

Virgil drops off to sleep as he finishes his smoothie, his grip growing lax on the smoothie cup. The last he remembers is Deceit's warm breath on his face and warm arms around his body.


	13. the morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> patton is conflicted

It takes Patton several long moments to realize why he's in a sleeping bag on Logan's floor, surrounded by mountains of pillows. The sleepy fog of happiness is soon shredded by the realization that they have to deal with Roman and Anxiety today. Patton doesn't know what or who to believe. Roman's never lied like this before-

-But he's never tried to choke someone like that before either. More and more, Patton wishes he knew what Anxiety had said, if only to better understand _why_ Roman had exploded the way he did. It made no sense and he knew that-

"Patton, you're thinking too hard," Logan grumbles from the bed, his voice fogged with sleep. He rolls over, fumbling his glasses on. Patton blinks in surprise. He's never seen Logan look so...relaxed.

"Sorry," Patton says, struggling to sit up. "I was just thinking about Roman. What are we going to do today?"

"Try to uncover the truth," Logan says. "If all else fails, I know someone we can call upon."

"Who?" Patton asks, pushing his own glasses up his nose.

"Deceit," Logan says simply.

"Now, Logan, I don't know if that's a good idea," Patton starts automatically. Logan arches an eyebrow.

"Isn't it?" He asks. "He is capable of determining the truth from lies. He knows when someone is lying. If Roman is being deceptive, he will know. If Anxiety is, the same applies."

"But would _he_ be honest?" Patton persists, doubtful.

"I believe he would about Roman," Logan says. "I do not think the two of them get along. I am unsure of his relationship with Anxiety."

"Can't we try on our own first?" Patton asks, all in a rush. Logan looks at him in surprise.

"Patton, do you not want to discover the truth?" Logan asks.

"I do," Patton says, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket. "I do. I guess I'm just afraid what it will turn up," he admits in one breath. "I don't want to think of Roman as- as a liar, or someone who would try to get someone else in trouble."

"Well, you've already had to accept he is the type of person who would strangle someone he doesn't like, I don't see how this is worse," Logan points out.

"Logan!" Patton exclaims. He can feel tears running down his cheeks, soaking the collar of his pajama shirt. "Don't you feel bad at _all_?"

"I don't feel like you do," Logan says. "But it is unnerving that Roman would do such a thing. Of course it is. I simply want to get to the bottom of it."

"Well, maybe Roman will fess up and that will be the end of it!" Patton says, trying to be optimistic.

Logan eyes him.

"Perhaps," he says. "But Patton, I wouldn't be too hopeful. If I am correct, he seems to have quite a bit invested in appearing the one not at fault."

"I know," Patton says. "I just- I don't like this." Logan softens a little.

"None of us do," he says. "Why don't we get dressed and have breakfast? I will invite Anxiety to breakfast if you like."

"Please," Patton nods. He doesn't know how he is going to make it through breakfast, especially if Roman and Anxiety share a table, but he supposes he'll have to cross that bridge if it comes to it.

And besides, who's to say they'd _both_ show up, anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sweet angst next chapter
> 
> and virgil admits a thing


	14. facing the music

Virgil wakes up nestled in all six of Deceit's arms, Remus cuddled up on his other side. They lie in a haphazard blanket and pillow nest, and Virgil doesn't think he's ever felt so comfortable in his life.

Then he moves and the agony that cracks through his ankle nearly makes him scream, bringing last night's events back in a painful flood.

"Virge?" Deceit asks sleepily. "Are you all right?"

"No-" He chokes out, tears springing to his eyes. Deceit comes awake all at once, pushing himself to a seated position to investigate the situation.

"Virgey?" Remus asks, from his cramped position.

"Pain-" Virgil manages to get out. "My ankle-" It hurts to talk, too, but the pain in his throat is nothing compared to the persistent throb in his ankle.

"Oh," Deceit says, pulling up Virgil's pants leg. Virgil doesn't remember getting into his pajamas. Deceit must have snapped him into them. The wrap has come undone, and Virgil nearly throws up into his lap when he sees the purple-black, swollen flesh that his ankle has become.

"I think perhaps something is broken after all," Deceit admits, his hands hovering over the abused tissue. "Virgil, I'm sorry, but I don't know how to fix this."

"_Fuck_," Virgil says through his teeth. "Do you know who would?"

"_Maybe_ Logic," Deceit says. "He's not a doctor, but you're a side, it isn't like you should need surgery or anything, like a real world person, right?" He's hissing his s's so badly, Virgil almost can't understand him.

"Want me to grab him?" Remus asks, his face a little too enthused for Virgil's liking. Deceit frowns.

"I'm not sure-" he starts to say, when a knock at the door freezes them all.

"Anxiety?" Logan calls through the door, the very person they want to see.

And there's not a chance in the seven hells that Virgil can get to the door to let him in.

"All right, you, in the bathroom, no chaos," Deceit tells Remus, taking charge. "I'll answer the door, Virgil."

"Remember, don't use my name," Virgil says, his voice strained. Deceit's expression is unreadable as he stands.

"I know," he says.

From the bed, Virgil can see the surprise in Logan's eyes when Deceit is the one to answer the door.

"Anxiety needs you," Deceit says bluntly. "I tried to help, but it didn't work." Logan's eyes widen when they fall on Virgil's ankle.

"Don't get up," he tells the anxious side. "I'll retrieve the medical kit from my room and tell Patton that you require assistance."

"Don't let him come in here," Virgil requests. "He'll freak out if he sees-" He gestures weakly at his ankle.

"I don't know if I can keep him away for long, but I believe I can at least keep him away long enough for me to address your injuries," Logan says. "Is that amenable to you?"

"Yeah," Virgil pants. He can tell that Logan is curious about Deceit's presence, but thankfully, Logan is too focused on his ankle to investigate.

When Logan has gone (and partially closed the door behind him), Deceit looks toward the bathroom.

"Remus, go back to my room," he says. "Don't touch anything."

"My brother did this," Remus mutters, over and over. It makes Virgil's heart hurt.

"We will fix it," Deceit promises him. "Please, Remus."

"Fine," Remus says. His voice is sulky, but he sinks out anyway. Just in time, as Logan hurtles through the door, medical kit banging against his leg and tie askew. He locks the door behind him with shaky hands.

"Logan?" Virgil asks uncertainly.

"Patton," Logan says, succinct. "Roman is awake, as well. He wanted to see. He says that he wishes to apologize."

"Lies," Deceit says at once. "He wants to see his handiwork and pressure Anxiety into apologizing to him for his black eye, when Anxiety has done nothing wrong."

"I wanted to ask you about that, actually," Logan says, his hands automatically setting out the tools he needs. Virgil blanches at the sight of some of them and Deceit squeezes his hand in reassurance. "Roman claims that Virgil came to his room and punched him in the eye. But his knuckles were red and the parameters of the injury seem off for what he insists happened. I wanted to ask you if you knew what had happened, since as far as I am aware, you have the ability to sense when someone is lying."

"I do," Deceit says, inclining his head. "And Roman is. Anxiety didn't punch him in the eye. Anxiety could barely stand up last night. Roman punched himself in the eye."

"Do you know why?" Logan asks, his voice as steady as his hands as he works to stabilize Virgil's ankle. Sharp pain bursts through his foot, making him groan.

"To make me look like the bad guy," Virgil says bitterly, hissing through his teeth when Logan's fingers brush the worst of the bruised flesh.

"I apologize," Logan says. "It is necessary, to stabilize the limb."

"Anxiety is correct," Deceit says. "Roman feels terribly..._villainous_ right now."

"I am unsure how this plan was supposed to correct that," Logan says, scarcely looking up from the cast-like bandage he is winding around Virgil's ankle. It hurts, but it feels good at the same time, like it's slowly pulling everything back into alignment.

"I doubt he knows," Deceit says, with a slight scowl. "He's never been one for complicated plots."

"Anxiety?" Logan asks. "I understand if you do not wish to tell me, but if it is possible, I would like to hear what made Roman lose control the way he did."

Virgil exchanges a nervous look with Deceit, who nods slightly, encouraging. Whatever Virgil wants to do is fine by Deceit. Virgil takes a deep breath, trying to focus on anything but the pain in his ankle.

"I just told him that his brother says hi," Virgil admits, hunching in on himself. Logan's eyes widen, then narrow with fury. Virgil cringes, but for once, the anger doesn't appear directed at _him._

"That's _it_?" Logan asks, incredulous. Virgil nods.

"I- I know I sh-shouldn't have said it," he stammers. "But I- I just said that Remus says hi, and then-" His hand flutters uselessly at his throat.

"Then his actions are even more reprehensible than I previously imagined," Logan states crisply as he finishes up with Virgil's ankle. "How is your throat? And your head?"

"They hurt," Virgil admits. Logan frowns in thought.

"May I see your head?" He requests. Virgil nods and Logan gently prods the bump.

"I believe it is healing," Logan says. "If you would like, I can retrieve an ice pack from the kitchen for you."

"Yes, please," Virgil says at once.

"I will be right back," Logan says. He hesitates, looking at Deceit. "Stay with him," he adds as he disappears through the door.

"Of course," Deceit promises softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i officially have no more pre-written chapters, so it might not update daily, but i'll still do my best ♡


	15. drama at breakfast

Roman stumbles into the kitchen, lured by the smell of pancakes floating through the air.

"Patton!" He greets. The moral side jumps when he hears him, nearly sending the skillet he's holding into the wall.

"Oh, Roman," he says. "You startled me." He looks down, avoiding Roman's eyes. Roman frowns. The events of last night creep into his mind, sending shame to curdle in his stomach.

"What is it?" He asks. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah," Patton stammers. "Uh-"

Logan bursts into the room, his eyes narrowing when he sees Roman. A large medical kit bangs against his leg.

"I apologize, Patton, but I must help Anxiety," he says. Roman's upper lip unconsciously curls at the thought. "His ankle is worse than I thought last night. Perhaps walking on it aggravated the injury."

"Oh, no!" Patton cries, distress blanketing his face.

"I want to help," Roman suggests. "I should apologize to him, after all."

"No," Logan says, backing up a step. "I'm afraid neither of you should come in. Patton, you know that you don't handle injuries very well. And Roman..." He pauses, long enough for Roman to become acutely aware of the throb in his bruised eye.

"I'm not sure that I trust you around Anxiety," Logan says frankly. "Not right now."

And with that, he's gone, nearly flying up the steps.

"Well, that's not fair," Roman huffs as he drops into a chair.

"Roman, surely that isn't a surprise," Patton says, giving him a disapproving look from his place at the stove. "You treated Anxiety terribly last night."

"You didn't hear what he said," Roman blurts out, only realizing afterward that now Patton's _definitely_ going to want to hear what Anxiety said, and that there is no _way_ Patton is going to believe it was worth Roman's response.

"Which was?" Patton asks, confirming Roman's suspicions. Roman swallows.

"He, uh-" He starts. Sweat beads along the nape of his neck. "He threatened me," he says. "I just reacted. I'm sorry."

"Well, he shouldn't threaten you," Patton says. Is that concern in his eyes, or suspicion? "But Roman, you really _hurt_ him! That's not okay!" Roman bows his head, letting shame radiate off him in waves.

"You're right, Patton," he says. "I'm sorry."

"It's not _me_ you need to apologize to," Patton says. But he still dishes up a plate of pancakes for himself and for Roman, sitting at the table. He looks up at the stairs. "I hope that Anxiety is all right."

"Me, too," Roman say. It's not _quite_ a lie, he defends to himself as he takes the first syrup-soaked bite. He _does_ want Anxiety to be okay. It's just...mostly for himself.

Logan comes back into the kitchen, the look in his eyes making Roman want to cringe back into his seat. It takes a real, deliberate effort to sit there and keep eating.

"I need an ice pack," Logan announces. "For Anxiety's head. Now that I think about it, an ice pack may be beneficial for his ankle as well. I also need to talk to you, Patton, as soon as possible."

Roman's stomach drops to the core of the earth when he hears that. Has Anxiety actually _told_ Logan what he said? He could have sworn that Anxiety would never muster up the courage. Was he _wrong_?

_Maybe it's a good thing,_ his brain says. _You should confess now, before everything has even longer to fester. It's going to come out now, it's better to speak up first._

He knows that. He _knows_ that, and yet the thought of actually _admitting_ that not only did he blow up over something minuscule, but he punched himself and tried to blame it on the same person he choked-

It hurts something way down deep that he doesn't even want to admit exists.

So instead, he hunches over his pancakes and tries to ignore the low murmur of voices from the next room.

"Well," an unfamiliar, gravelly voice drawls from the doorway. "So you're the one making me stronger. That's not good for Thomas, now is it."

Roman's mouth drops open.


	16. an unfortunate meeting

Logan pulls Patton into the living room, at the far end where hopefully Roman can't listen in.

"Anxiety told me what he said," Logan states, folding his arms.

"Roman told me, too," Patton says, casting a troubled look toward the kitchen. "I can't believe the kiddo would threaten someone, but-"

"What?" Logan asks blankly. "Threat? There was no threat."

"Roman said Anxiety threatened him," Patton says, confused. Logan barks a short laugh, tugging at his hair.

"Of course he would say that," Logan says. "I know for a fact he is lying. Deceit helped me with Anxiety's ankle-" Patton's eyes widen. "And I asked him about it. He says that Roman punched himself in the eye, hoping to get Anxiety in trouble. And he did not say that Anxiety was lying when he told me what he said."

"Well, what did he say?" Patton prods, bouncing on his toes and fidgeting with his cardigan.

"He told Roman that Remus says hi," Logan recites.

"That's _it_?" Patton squeaks. "But that's- That's just annoying, isn't it? Surely that isn't a threat."

"I certainly cannot justify it as one," Logan says. "Not without a great deal of prior context. I know that the twins are not on the best of terms, but it baffles me that Roman would react so violently to the mention of his brother's regards."

"Yeah, I don't know," Patton says, a frown forming on his face. "He's never liked Anxiety. Maybe that's his problem."

"He does not have to like Anxiety," Logan says. "He merely has to be able to work with him. Both you and I have been able to work together with Anxiety at times. He needs to as well."

"You're right," Patton sighs. "What are we going to do?"

"I am not sure," Logan admits. "I...did not want to do this, but I believe we might have to inform Thomas of what is going on."

"You sure about that?" Someone who is definitely not Roman drawls from the entry to the kitchen. He has Roman by the wrist, and he looks amused by his futile struggle to get away.

"Who are you?" Patton squeaks. The newcomer grins, adjusting his biker jacket. His hair is wild, sticking up every which way, and his jeans are ripped enough they could rival Anxiety's.

"What, you don't remember me?" He asks. "This guy here's been feeding me all the energy I could ever want." He gives Roman a little shake.

"I don't believe Patton has met you in your current incarnation," Logan says calmly. "But I remember you. Wrath."

Wrath laughs, and the sound echoes through the living room.

"Good to know I'm appreciated _somewhere,_" he says, shaking Roman again.

"Please let Roman go," Logan says. It's not a request.

"No," Wrath says. "He's the one who woke me up. He's so _angry_ with little ...Anxiety, isn't he? It's _delicious_."

Well, that's a surprise. Logan hadn't thought Roman felt _that_ strongly about Anxiety.

"Be that as it may, he did not intend to waken you and he certainly does not belong with you," Logan says, letting his voice cool another degree.

"Come get him," Wrath suggests. "Better yet, ask his brother!" He laughs. "They can have a little _reunion._ Wouldn't that be fun?"

And with that, he sinks out, taking Roman with him.

"Roman!" Patton yelps, scrambling forward, but it's too late. Wrath is gone, and Roman's with him.

"Logan, where did they go?" Patton asks, frantic.

"If I had to guess, the subconscious," Logan says. "I don't think Wrath has stirred since Thomas's teenage years. This is...concerning."

"He just _kidnapped_ him," Patton squeaks, starting to hyperventilate.

"So he did," Logan says. "We'll get him back, but I think we need help."

"What help?" Patton asks, but Logan's already focused. And he_ thinks_ he knows just the right way to phrase it so that the side will come.

"Roman did nothing wrong," he announces to the living room at large. Almost at once, Deceit pops out of nowhere, Anxiety balancing koala-style on his back.

"And what the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?" Deceit demands, ignoring Patton, who yips and jumps back.

"I wanted to get you down here," Logan says calmly. "I don't believe it. I'm glad that you brought Anxiety with you. We have a problem."

"What?" Deceit asks. Logan frowns.

"Wrath is awake," he says. "And he has taken Roman."

"Let him have him," Deceit scoffs, pretending to examine his fingernails through his gloves.

"Deceit!" Patton exclaims. "We can't do that!"

"Why not?" Deceit asks. "He won't do much to Roman. Maybe even less than Roman did to Anxiety." A cruel smirk warps his face for a moment.

"Thomas needs him," Logan says. Deceit sighs.

"He has _another_ creativity," Deceit mutters. "Why does he need _this_ one?"

Remus pops up in the living room, a bloody head of lettuce balanced precariously on top of his head.

"Did someone say juicy butthole?" He asks, excited. Deceit groans.

"Right," he says. "That's why."

"So you'll help?" Logan asks, searching Deceit's mismatched eyes. Deceit heaves another exhausted sigh.

"I suppose I have no other choice," he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope wrath sounds ok...


	17. best-laid plans

Deceit sets Virgil on the couch, retrieving the lettuce from the top of Remus's head and banishing it back to Remus's room. He knows better than to inquire about it.

"Remus," he says, capturing the other side's attention. "It seems Wrath has decided to kidnap your brother."

"He- What?" Remus sputters. His eyes go very wide, the makeup around them intensifying until it looks like massive bruising.

"He seems to believe that _you_ will assist him," Deceit mentions, as off-handedly as possible. From the corner of his eye, he can see Logan's perplexed face and Patton's horror-struck one. Virgil doesn't say anything. He just looks like he's in pain, not that that surprises Deceit.

"He's _mine_," Remus hisses, his fists clenched as he stalks forward, so close to Deceit that Deceit can smell his rotting breath. "The only one allowed to hurt him is _me_."

"In that case, are you willing to help get him back?" Deceit asks, looking down at one gloved hand, as if the answer bores him. He prays the others don't interrupt him. They don't know Remus like he does, they'll mess it all up-

"Fuck yes!" Remus exclaims, all but vibrating in place. "He's not _Wrath's_ to mess around with,_ I_ wanna. I haven't forgotten." His eyes slide toward Virgil, who pretends not to see it.

"I know," Deceit murmurs. "I haven't forgotten either." He can feel Logan's gaze on him, sharp and shrewd, but he ignores it. If Logan has a problem with them, he can deal with it later. He's the one who asked for Deceit's help. That means he's going to get it Deceit's way.

And if Logan thinks that Wrath snatching Roman is "punishment enough" for his behavior, Deceit's going to find a way to barricade Virgil in the dark side, Virgil's wishes be damned. He refuses to see Virgil hurt by the people who claim to be _so_ much better than them.

"You've never been down there, have you?" He asks Logan and Patton. Patton shakes his head. Logan hesitates.

"A time or two," Logan admits. "Early on. I am sure it has changed." Deceit's eyes widen infinitesimally, his opinion of Logic ticking up a notch. _Interesting._

"Wrath's going to expect you to mess it all up," he explains matter-of-factly. "He will expect you to go in, guns blazing-"

"We're bringing _guns_?" Logan interjects, alarmed, and Deceit summons the willpower of a thousand men not to roll his eyes. He takes back his previous praise. Is Logic _always_ like this? He doesn't spend enough time around him to notice. Clearly a wise decision on his part.

"It is a figure of speech," he says, his voice strained. "He will expect you to rush in, without a plan. I doubt he wants to _harm_ the two of you, but Wrath is...not a nice person. He's not supposed to be. If you got in his way, well..." Deceit shrugs delicately. Patton looks very pale now, and like he wants to rush off and be sick.

"How are we going to get Roman back then?" Logan asks. Deceit grins, the tips of his fangs peeking out.

"Our secret weapon," he says, pulling Remus in closer. Remus giggles, and the sound makes Patton wince. "Him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is annoyingly short but deceit was a tricksy boi and didn't want to tell me any more of his plan so


	18. rescuers down under

Wrath's grip on his wrist is punishingly tight and Roman squeezes his eyes shut, afraid what he'll see when he opens them again. It's bitterly cold around him, the chill seeping through his clothes.

"Now we wait," Wrath says, his voice oozing satisfaction. "Or maybe not." His voice gains a speculative tone that Roman doesn't like one bit. "You know, _Creativity_, I think you need a matching set." Before Roman can react, an explosion of pain rocks his head and he can't help but cry out. His eye throbs, so much more than when he did it himself.

"Much better," Wrath says. "Open your eyes, Creativity. I want you to see your handiwork." Roman manages to pry his eyelids apart, only to find himself face to face with himself in a conjured mirror. This close, it is easy to see the difference between his work and Wrath's. His eye is swollen nearly shut, and stippled with a bruised sunset. It _hurts_ so much, but he doesn't dare cry.

"I don't like you," Wrath says, settling him on a folding chair. He doesn't tie him up. Humiliation burns in Roman's chest, because he knows as well as Wrath does that there's no need to.

"I gathered that," Roman says hoarsely. Wrath looks like he wants to punch him again, but refrains, summoning his own leather chair and slouching into it.

"I don't like you," Wrath repeats. "But I work with you. _Usually_. I work from here-" He gestures to the dimness around them. "I don't need to be up there." He points at the ceiling. "But you know who does?"

Roman opens his mouth to reply. Wrath beats him to it.

"Anxiety," Wrath says.

"But all he does is drag Thomas down!" Roman protests, his feelings for Anxiety overwhelming his common sense. "How can Thomas achieve his dreams with Anxiety dragging him back?"

"He keeps Thomas from getting_ killed,_ you actual moron," Wrath snaps. "Sure, maybe he's a little over zealous sometimes. But better that than Thomas getting fucking knifed in an alley."

Roman blinks in shock. He...hadn't thought of it that way.

"He made Thomas walk in the rain," he argues weakly. Wrath snorts.

"There was a guy on the bus who wanted to follow you home," Wrath says. "Deceit and Anxiety picked it up right away."

"But what if they were wrong?" Roman protests.

"What if they were right?" Wrath counters, unblinking. "What the fuck does it matter if they were wrong? Who cares if some strange dude gets offended? Who cares you had to walk a little in the rain? Boo hoo. Would you rather get a little damp or chloroformed behind a hedge?"

Roman falls silent, his throat working. He knows as well as Wrath does what the answer is.

And then he hears what he's been dreading all along.

"Oh, _brooooother_!"

"Excellent," Wrath grins, standing up. "It seems your brother wants to play after all."

Remus appears out of the shadows, his eyes wild and hair standing on end.

"Hey, _bro_," he chirps. "I thought I'd give you my regards in person. Can't shoot the messenger this way!" He cackles, and the sound sends chills slithering down Roman's spine.

"Remus," Roman croaks. "I uh- I didn't mean to-"

"Don't lie," Deceit's voice cuts in, a smooth drawl that nevertheless gets across his annoyance. "It doesn't suit you."

"You hurt Anxiety," Remus says, his voice low and quiet and cold in a way that Roman doesn't think he's ever heard his brother before. He swallows. "You hurt him for saying my _name_. Are you _that_ ashamed of me, brother mine?"

"No- I don't know," Roman admits. Deceit slow claps once, his face dripping with sarcasm.

"Very _good_, Roman, I'm so pleased that you seem to have found a streak of honesty somewhere within you," he says. "While you're on a roll, why don't you tell Remus _why_ exactly you decided that_ choking_ a fellow side was a good idea."

"Yes, let's hear it, Roman," Wrath says, eyes glittering.

"He- he doesn't belong," Roman blurts out. "He- he's _Anxiety_, he's not like me and Patton and Logan. I shouldn't have choked him-"

"Or tried to frame him," Deceit cuts in, his voice icy.

"Or that," Roman says, shame thickening his throat. "But I just- I got so _angry_, he was taunting me with my brother- or it felt like that-" He looks down, not willing to admit _everything_. It's bad enough what he's just exclaimed, isn't it?

"You're a bastard," Remus says, almost conversationally. "I don't like you right now, Roman. I love you, but I don't like you." Roman feels a pang of hurt and marvels at it. Why does he care? Why _should_ he care?

_But Remus is your brother..._

"In that case-" Wrath begins, but Remus whirls on him, morningstar forming out of thin air.

"You talk too much," Remus says, and knocks him out cold.


	19. aftermath

Patton waits in the shadows, his heart beating in his throat, as he listens to Remus and Deceit. His eye aches in sympathy when he sees the new bruising on Roman. Now that he _can_ see it, though, he can see the differences between the eye Roman presumably did himself and Wrath's handiwork, and the difference is plain as day. That makes his heart ache in a whole different way.

"You talk too much," Remus chirps and knocks Wrath out. Instantly, Patton and Logan surge forward, heading toward Roman, while Remus and Deceit cover them.

_It won't last long,_ Deceit had explained obliquely in the living room. If _Patton_ had been the one to hear that sickening crack, he's sure he would have been out for a month! But sure enough, just as they pull Roman to his dazed feet, Patton hears a groan coming from Wrath's direction.

"Stop that," Remus says, and wallops him again. Deceit sighs.

"Would you stop," Deceit says. "We've got him. It's fine."

"That's for the shiner," Remus says stubbornly. "That was my right."

"Fine, fine, whatever," Deceit airily says. "Let's go."

Patton finds his arm seized by one of Deceit's and moments later, he spills out onto the living room floor, where a nervous Anxiety regards them from the sofa. Patton doesn't miss Anxiety's flinch when he sees Roman.

And that, above all else, convinces Patton that Roman has done some _very_ bad things.

As Logan helps Roman stand, Patton also doesn't miss the way Deceit slips in front of Anxiety, or the very clear message in level eyes.

"Thank you for rescuing me," Roman says hoarsely. "Logan... Patton..."

"Deceit and Remus organized it," Logan says. Roman blinks in disbelief.

"They did?" He squeaks. Deceit sighs.

"Contrary to _your_ beliefs, Thomas does actually need _both_ sides of his creativity, how is he supposed to access you if Wrath has locked you in the subconscious?" Deceit asks, disdain dripping from every pore. Roman's shoulders slump.

"Oh," he mumbles.

"Should I have left you there?" Deceit asks idly. "I'm sure Wrath would have let you go eventually."

"No!" Roman bursts out. "I- Uh- I'm sorry. Thank you, Deceit. Re-Remus."

"Oh, you admit I exist?" Remus says. "Color me more shocked than a baby bird in a jet turbine." Patton winces at the mental imagery.

"Of course you exist," Roman says. He looks ready to collapse. "I'm sorry, Remus. I-"

"Pretty sure you need to apologize to someone else way more," Remus says, cutting him off. Anxiety curls into a tighter ball on the sofa. Roman's eyes fall on the bruises spanning Anxiety's throat and pales.

"I'm sorry, Anxiety," Roman says. "Genuinely I am. I- I behaved abominably toward you, both when I choked you and when I- I tried to frame you for this." He points at his black eye. "Wrath explained to me why you're important for Thomas's well-being."

"It's great to hear you grovel or whatever," Anxiety says, his voice so raspy it makes Patton's throat ache. "But you only listened to Wrath after he kidnapped you and punched you in the_ face_? Why couldn't you ask _me_ to begin with? I'm not exactly _subtle_ about trying to keep Thomas safe!" Roman winces.

"I know," he says. "I know. I just- Well, I always just thought you drag Thomas down. You hold him back from achieving his dreams. I know that's not what you do _now_-" He adds hurriedly, facing down twin glares from Deceit and Remus. "But I thought- well, I thought you were taunting me."

"Right, I'm just gonna go," Anxiety says, a bitter laugh escaping. "If this is your idea of an apology, it's a pretty shitty one."

And with that, he sinks down, Deceit instantly following. Remus is slower, glaring at his brother.

"And you say I have no tact," Remus says. "Wow, bro."

And he disappears, too.

"That could have gone better," Roman mumbles.

"Anxiety is right," Logan speaks up. Roman stares at him in surprise.

"Patton and I talked about it," Logan continues. "Both he and I have had moments of understanding with Anxiety. You, however, remain as obstinate as ever. It is a problem, and one that you need to resolve."

"Hey- But-" Roman splutters. "He's not exactly the nicest guy either!"

Logan fixes him with a flat stare.

"No," he says. "But he isn't the one who assaulted a fellow side, either. Now come on. I don't want you to be alone, in case a certain person returns."

Patton follows the pair to Roman's room, his mind awhirl with quiet speculation.


	20. dark side reunion

Virgil collapses on the floor, too worn out to even make it to the bed. His ankle throbs with pain, but he does his best to ignore it. His throat tightens, aching with the after-effects of Roman's attention and the effort of unshed tears.

"Well, that was the most pitiful apology I've ever heard," Deceit breaks the silence.

"He- I knew he hated me," Virgil whispers, staring at the carpet. "I knew he didn't like me. But..." He takes a deep breath. "Wrath had to _literally_ knock sense into him?"

"My brother's always been thickheaded," Remus offers. "If you want, I can find out how thick." His eyes take on a ratty gleam that Virgil doesn't like. Deceit shakes his head once, sharply.

"Thanks, Remus," Virgil says. "But I don't think knowing how thick his skull is would help. He wouldn't stop being a jackass." He sniffs.

A knock sounds on the door and Virgil stiffens.

"It's me," Wrath calls. He doesn't _sound_ angry, but Virgil's breathing speeds up anyway. "I'm not gonna do anything, it's cool."

Deceit eyes Virgil carefully.

"Are you all right with him coming in?" Deceit asks in a quiet voice. Virgil hesitates, then nods. He certainly can't make things _worse._

Remus lets him in, holding his morningstar in an ostensibly casual fashion. Wrath looks around and sighs.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he says. "I get why you rescued the asshole. And why you hit me-" He adds in an aside to Remus.

"No one hurts my bro but me," Remus says proudly.

"I tried to knock some sense into his head," Wrath says. He rubs at the bump on his head, wincing a little. "Did it work at all?"

"He tried, I guess," Virgil says, his voice raspy. "I mean, he apologized."

"Yes, while justifying himself and trying to blame his prior views on you," Deceit sneers. "Such a _graceful_ apology from a_ prince._"

"Yeah," Virgil mumbles. "He told me he's always thought I drag Thomas down. And hold him back. And supposedly he doesn't feel that way anymore, but I have a hard time believing that for some reason." Bitterness seeps into his tone.

"Are you _sure_ I can't investigate the depth of his skull?" Remus persists.

"Yes!" Virgil says. "I don't want you to hurt him. I want- I want him to understand how he hurts other people. It's not just me." Remus's face reddens and he looks down, his free hand wrapping around himself.

"What if he lies to Thomas?" Virgil continues, one of his real fears brought shaking into the light. "Thomas already doesn't like me. How can I do my job if he-" He stops, tears pricking his eyes.

"We'll deal with that if it happens, not before," Deceit says calmly. "Don't borrow trouble, Virge."

"Thomas should know, though," Remus says. "He should know my brother's head should be used for croquet practice. I wonder if he's ever thought of putting his hands around Roman's throat and slamming him into the wall, over and over and over-"

"Remus!" Deceit cuts him off sharply. Virgil blesses him. All the color has drained from his face and his throat burns with suppressed nausea, like he might be sick any moment.

"...Oh," Remus sheepishly says. "Sorry, Virgil."

"It's okay," Virgil mumbles.

"So Wrath," Deceit drawls. "Why exactly did you decide to kidnap Roman?"

"It was kinda spontaneous," Wrath admits. "I wasn't _planning_ to do it. But the _looks_ on Patton's and Logan's faces..." He laughs. "Patton especially. And _Roman_, acting like I was going to murder him any second. It's _his_ fault I'm so active in the first place. For once, it ain't even Thomas!

"So I thought I'd grab him for a while and impart a few...home truths," Wrath continues. "Hope that maybe some of it would sink in. I was gonna let him go after a while. But you guys showed up." He looks around and laughs shortly. "Didn't think you'd be on _their_ side, but whatever. Especially not after what he did to Virgil."

"I'm on Virgil's side," Deceit counters, unblinking. "And kidnapping Roman didn't help him. His job is anxiety, Wrath, what do you think a side being kidnapped did to him?"

"...Shit," Wrath says in realization. "Sorry, Virge. I didn't think about that." Virgil shrugs limply, not sure what to say.

Then his eyes widen, as he feels a familiar tug deep inside.

Thomas is summoning him, and he can't even stand by himself.

Oh _shit_.


	21. i'm ready for their stones

Virgil doesn't bother trying to stand as he succumbs to the summons. Thomas can deal with him sitting on the floor if he wants to see him so badly. All he hopes is that the others are there, too. If it's just Roman, he's going to sink back out again, consequences be damned.

The familiar confines of the living room sketch themselves into place as he appears, slumped on the stairs. To his relief, Patton and Logan are there with Roman, and Virgil catches the tail-end of Patton's impassioned plea.

"I really don't think you should bother Anxiety right now, Thomas, he's not doing-"

"Too late," Virgil croaks and has the meager satisfaction of watching Thomas's face pale and his eyes widen, taking in the battered appearance of his anxious side.

"Anxiety!" Thomas exclaims. "Wha- What happened to you?" He looks horrified, and Virgil takes small, cold pleasure in it. Maybe Thomas will actually start to _listen_ to him-

Before Virgil can open his mouth to answer, Logan steps forward and intervenes, clearing his throat and sending a warning look Roman's way. Roman looks down, his face flushed. _What has he been saying?_

"Roman decided to assault him," Logan says bluntly. Is that horror in Thomas's expression or understanding?

_"What?"_ Thomas blurts out, his mouth agape. His gaze can't stop jittering between Virgil and Roman. "But why?"

Now Roman steps forward, still red. Logan gives him another level stare, as if to warn him to tell the truth.

"I overreacted," Roman mumbles, shifting from foot to foot. _Not very prince-like_ now, _are you?_ Virgil thinks viciously. "Anxiety said something. I thought he was mocking me, so I- well, I overreacted."

"But- Roman, he can't even stand up!" Thomas protests. "No matter what he said, that's completely-"

"I _know_!" Roman snaps. He takes a deep breath. "I know," he repeats in a calmer tone. "It was unacceptable of me to lay my hands on Anxiety, and I- I apologize."

_Why is it you can lay off the justifications and bullshit around Thomas, huh?_ Virgil thinks, trying to quell the bitterness and failing.

"And what happened to your eyes?" Thomas continues, gesturing at Roman's face. "Did Anxiety do that to you? Because that's not-"

Virgil and Patton exchange a panicked look, one that Thomas thankfully misses. What are they supposed to say? He can't know about the others yet, he barely knows Virgil exists-

"I did it," Roman says, taking the fall for Wrath's anger. Virgil's mouth drops. "I- I'm afraid that my motives were unprincely here, too."

"You weren't- you weren't punishing yourself, were you?" Thomas asks hesitantly. Behind Thomas's back, Virgil levels the most impressive glare he can muster at Roman. _Don't you dare lie_, he thinks, body stiff and radiating tension. _Don't you dare fucking lie, you just wanted to lie to the others and get me in trouble-_

"Perhaps that played a part in it," Roman says, downcast, and Virgil has to clench his fists, fingernails biting sharply into his palms.

_You fucking liar,_ he thinks. Logan and Patton are quiet, though Logan has a strangely contemplative look on his face. Do they just not know how to contradict him without bringing up the others? Or are they-

Are they letting Roman make himself look better because really,_ he's_ the one they actually care about? After all, why would _they_ give a damn about _Anxiety_? He's a _disease_, for fuck sake. All he's ever wanted is to keep Thomas safe, but look at him now. He can't even stand up properly thanks to Roman's ministrations, yet Thomas is currently fawning over Roman's pathetic black eyes, one of which he did himself!

And sure, Thomas _acted_ appropriately when he saw Virgil, but he's an _actor_. That's what he _does._ And he sure isn't acting like he cares anymore, judging by the low-voiced conversation he's now having with Roman. Like _Roman_ is the one who needs comforting.

"Right, I'm out," he mutters, just loud enough for Logan to hear.

"Anxiety?" Logan asks, concern visible on his face, but it's too late. Virgil's already sunk out, appearing back in his room with a thump. Deceit, Remus, and Wrath are still there, and when Virgil looks up, he already has tears streaming down his face.

"I'm _done_," he manages to say, his voice shaking. "I- I want to duck out. For good."


	22. setting things straight (ha)

"Anxiety-" Logan says, although he knows it's too late. Anxiety is gone, back into the mind palace, and honestly, who can blame him? Logan certainly can't. It's time to put an end to this ridiculousness.

"Roman," Logan says firmly, interrupting his conversation with Thomas. "Tell the truth, please. While I do not know if self-punishment played into your decision to injure yourself, I _do_ know that you had other motivations that you aren't telling Thomas, and you need to. Or I will."

"What?" Thomas asks, bewildered. He looks around, forehead wrinkling when he sees the empty spot where Anxiety sat. "Where did Anxiety go?"

"I suspect he had enough of watching you fawn over his aggressor," Logan says, as blunt as he dares. "And I should have spoken up sooner. Whether or not Roman is not doing well is a completely different issue from him taking out his emotions on Anxiety in a physical fashion. Anxiety did nothing wrong." Patton nods in agreement.

"Roman, why did you hurt yourself?" Thomas finally asks. Roman stares at the ground, his face burning scarlet.

"I- I wanted Logan and Patton to think that Anxiety did it," he mumbles.

"You tried to _frame_ Anxiety?" Thomas asks in disbelief, staring at Roman like he's never really seen him before.

"Well, I didn't do a very good job of it, Logan knew straight off," Roman says, sounding sulky. Thomas glances at Logan.

"His knuckles were red," Logan says. "And Anxiety had no additional defensive injuries. I have a hard time believing that Roman would not try to defend himself, even if it were automatic."

"Roman, why would you do that?" Thomas asks. "Why would you try to get Anxiety into trouble? It doesn't make sense."

"Of course it does," Logan says. "He wanted Patton and I to villainize Anxiety, or at the least, feel sorry for him."

"You don't have to say it like _that,_" Roman snaps. "I just- I know it was stupid, I shouldn't have done it. I just thought maybe you would-"

"Roman, you didn't have to hurt yourself for us to listen to you," Patton says, looking distressed. "But you _hurt_ Anxiety and that's not okay."

"I know," Roman says, his voice low. "I feel terrible."

"Good," Logan says. "Perhaps this feeling will discourage you from similar ill-advised pursuits in the future."

"I feel terrible, too," Thomas admits, tugging at a strand of his hair. "I should have paid more attention to Anxiety. He was hurt and I just...ignored him."

"Very good, Thomas," Logan says. "Patton and I are not without fault, as well. I should have spoken up much sooner, to encourage Roman to tell the truth." He pushes up his glasses, fingers shaking a little. "I must apologize to Anxiety as well, when I see him." The air shivers and he frowns.

"Yeah, whatever," Thomas says, disinterest emanating from every pore. "Hey, I'm hungry." He wanders over to the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets.

"Uh, Thomas?" Logan asks. Alarm keeps ringing in his mind, though he can't quite pinpoint why.

"What?" Thomas asks, turning around with a bag of granola in one hand. "Want some?"

"What? No, I do not," Logan says, shaking his head. "Let's get back to the subject at hand, Thomas. Anxiety is still injured and now may believe that he is not supported, that is of great importance-"

"Yeah, okay," Thomas says, shoving messy handfuls of granola into his mouth. Crumbs shower the floor, but he seems utterly unaware of them. "Hey, wanna watch re-runs with me? I'm sure it uh, it'll be fine."

"No, I don't want to watch re-runs," Logan says sharply. "I want you to return to our conversation. What's wrong with you, Thomas? It's almost like-" He stops, horror blooming in his mind.

"Like you have no anxiety," Logan breathes.

"Took my pants off," Thomas announces happily to the world.


	23. ducking out (quack)

Dead silence greets his pronouncement for one second before it explodes into a cacophony of sound that has Virgil clapping his hands over his ears and hunching into himself.

"You are not ducking out," Deceit says, his voice ringing out clearly. "I do not care _what_ they did or said, you are not ducking out."

"You must have heard," Virgil whispers miserably. He scrubs his eyes with the back of one hand, not caring about his smeared eye makeup. "Thomas cared more about Roman- and Roman lied-"

"Not entirely," Deceit says. "Although I doubt he realized it until Thomas said anything and he realized he could make himself look like a poor, hurt baby." Disgust sharpens his tone like a dagger.

"The instant he comes back, I'll show him a poor, hurt baby," Wrath growls. Remus's morningstar ostentatiously taps his shoulder.

"Not without me, you won't," Remus says, the pointy tips of his teeth showing.

"No, you guys, it's fine," Virgil says. Deceit arches one eyebrow.

"No, it is not," he says. "You just told us you want to duck out, Virgil. That is the _opposite_ of fine."

"All I do is hurt Thomas," Virgil whispers into the sanctuary of his hoodie sleeves. "If- if all he cares about is Roman, then- then he doesn't need me. I'm not important. I _can't_ be. I-" He swallows painfully.

"Just because Thomas is too stupid to realize that he needs you, it doesn't mean he doesn't," Deceit says. He cocks his head to one side. "And you have more allies than you realize. At this very moment, Logic is demanding that Roman tell the truth."

"It still doesn't mean that Roman will," Virgil says weakly. He knows he will, though. If he doesn't, Logan will say it for him. "Why couldn't he do that _sooner_?"

"I'm not sure," Deceit says. "Perhaps he wasn't sure about how to talk about what happened without mentioning us?" He gestures around the room. "Or he thought Roman would tell the truth. I know that's what Morality thought."

"It doesn't matter," Virgil says, shaking his head. "I- I'm gonna duck out, and you can't stop me."

Deceit's eyes glitter.

"You don't know very much about how it works if you think I can't stop you," he hisses. "What if I propose a deal instead?"

"A deal?" Virgil says hesitantly. Deceit nods.

"I can make it look like you've ducked out," he offers. "The effect on Thomas will be the same, anyway. If I know the others, they'll come looking for you. I can shift to look like you and deal with it. If they don't appreciate you the way that you should be, then you move back in with us." He gestures at Remus and Wrath.

Virgil hesitates, looking at Wrath and Remus. Once upon a time, he would have shunned a deal like this. He thought life away from the dark sides had to be better- that _anything_ would be better.

He's not ashamed to admit he was wrong.

"Deal," he mumbles, holding a hand out. Deceit's gloved hand closes around his, and yellow and purple sparks flare, sealing their bargain. When Deceit takes his hand away, it glows with vibrant purple fire.

"Wrath, Remus, could you put Virgil on his bed?" He asks. Virgil sags to the floor. "Virgil, I know this must be frightening for you, but it's the only way to make it look like you've ducked out. You'll be fine. You can move on your own, but it will be exhausting, and you're already injured." Deceit breathes in the purple fire, his form shimmering, until he looks like Virgil, bruises and all.

"Don't worry," Remus whispers, his breath hot in Virgil's ear as he helps lift him. "Dee won't let anything bad happen to you."

Once upon a time, Virgil would have panicked anyway. Now he just accepts his fate, head lolling to one side.

"Wait-" Virgil says hoarsely. "No one can rise up in my room-"

"Oh, they aren't allowed here," Deceit says. "They can visit your corner of the mind palace, and that's it, Virgil. You'll still be able to see and hear what's going on, but they don't deserve to visit your actual bedroom, Thomas included."

"Won't they know?" Virgil asks. Deceit shrugs delicately, an odd movement to see on...well, himself.

"Perhaps," Deceit says. "But Thomas won't, and he's the important person here, is he not?"

Reluctantly, Virgil nods. The sound of voices approach and Deceit laughs thinly.

"Well, look at that," he says. "Right on time."


	24. accepting anxiety?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is long af, mostly because of all the lines i had to grab from the accepting anxiety episode :p

Thankfully, Virgil's injuries are superficial on his borrowed form, Deceit thinks, or he wouldn't be up to the task of pretending to be Anxiety. As it is, he's nearly certain Logan will figure it out. What he _does_ with that information is far more uncertain, though Deceit doubts he will say anything in front of Thomas. Thomas, after all, has no idea Deceit exists, and Deceit has every intention of keeping it that way.

With that in mind, he focuses on the others' location, letting himself appear in front of them.

"What are you all doing in my room?!" He demands, to a chorus of startled screams. (Though Patton, at least, doesn't seem to care much about anything beyond the spider curtains he's standing in front of.)

_Great start,_ Deceit thinks sourly as he leans on the staircase. He might not feel the pain, but Virgil would. This would be quite a strain for him.

"Anxiety!" Thomas exclaims. "Oh my goodness, I'm so happy to see you, that's...weird."

"You literally all just screamed in unison upon seeing me," Deceit points out.

"Sorry," Logan says. "It's just- you do this thing where you just kind of appear." Red stains Logan's face and Deceit has to bite the inside of his cheek to avoid a laugh.

"Anxiety, you don't understand," Thomas says. "I- For some reason, I wasn't feeling your presence at all after you left the room."

"Yeah, I know," Deceit says, hunching his shoulders in Virgil's oversized hoodie. "It's because I've decided to duck out." _Please be worth this,_ he mentally begs. _Please show Virgil you actually care._

"Quack," Patton mumbles.

"What?" Thomas asks in confusion. "Duck out?"

"Quack quack," Patton says automatically. Deceit is hard pressed not to roll his eyes. But Virgil wouldn't roll his eyes at Patton, so he manages to restrain himself.

"That's a thing you can do?" Roman asks.

"I removed myself from the equation," Deceit says, as bluntly as possible. "I quit. Decided it wasn't worth it anymore." It hurts to say, all the more because he knows it's how Virgil really feels.

"Why would you do that?" Thomas asks. He looks horrorstruck.

"Well, it didn't seem like I was wanted," Deceit says grimly. "You all made _that_ pretty clear any time I showed up. Even the last time, when I was beat to shit."

"Wha-" Patton starts to say. Deceit turns to him.

"Except you, Patton," he says. "You're a funny guy." As soon as the words are out, he internally winces. That isn't what Virgil would say, is it? But Patton's beaming and saying something about loving his dark, strange son, so maybe it's all right. Deceit straightens, meeting Logan's thoughtful gaze. _Shit._

"Well," Roman begins. "Surely you knew that we're always just preparing ourselves for the worst po- Okay, ah... Maybe I could rephrase that. We were just tensing up because we knew that something bad would- Look, it's just you're never really fun? And-"

"Roman, shut up," Thomas says. "Seriously? After what happened earlier, _that's_ what you come up with?"

"Look, I am the creative side, not the fluffy, cutesy, kind wordsy side, so..."

"One would think that the creative side would be able to come up with a nicer way to talk to others," Logan says coolly. Deceit mentally applauds him. At least _one_ person seems to be on Virgil's side.

"You'd think the smart side would know when to mind his own business," Roman snips.

"Okay, it's real sweet that you all decided to come for a visit, but if I wanted to stand around being insulted, I would have stuck around earlier," Deceit drawls, breaking it up.

"Oh, you poor little anxious baby," Patton says, clasping his hands under his chin. Eyeshadow stands out under his eyes like bruises. That can't be a good sign. Deceit decides to plow on, regardless.

"Let's just face facts," he says. "You're better off without me." _Deception certainly comes in handy at the moment. Thomas would most certainly_ not _be better off without Virgil-_

"NO!" Thomas blurts out. "No, no, that is where you're wrong."

"Very much so," Logan contributes. "I don't think any of us comprehended just how much you factor into Thomas's decision-making." The chagrin in his expression is enough to make Deceit want to grin.

"Yeah," Thomas says, pointing at Logan.

"I mean, without you, he was acting like a- Just an unfiltered... Just going to come out and say it. A cotton-headed ninny muggins." Twin gasps echo from Roman and Patton, and Deceit once again has to stifle a snicker.

"That is enough out of you!" Thomas snaps, his face flaming. "_Logic_."

"See?" Logan says, unphased. "He's reining me in right now because of you."

"You _do_ talk too much sometimes," Deceit says. Logan smiles slightly.

"I never thought I'd appreciate you saying that," he says.

"We've already learned that Thomas listening to me too much can be a problem," Patton says. "Same with Roman. Probably even Logan."

"Easy," Logan says.

"All right," Deceit says, raising one hand. "I can't say it isn't nice to hear you all groveling, but." He takes a deep breath, recalling Virgil's anguished words. "I actually think you were _right_ to not want me around. I've always aimed to protect you, but lately it feels like I've been keeping you from doing _anything_."

"If your only goal is to protect, then why do you act like the embodiment of a dark and stormy night all the time?" Roman asks. Deceit internally snarls at him. _He's going to ruin this-_

"Roman!" Thomas says.

"What? He's a creepy cookie! You're a creepy cookie, Anxiety!"

"_Roman._"

"You're like a- an oatmeal raisin cookie that's primarily composed of raisins. A raisin oatmeal cookie. No one wants that!"

"Pump the brakes, Princey!" Thomas shouts. Deceit blesses him for it.

"I'm sorry," Roman says.

"You pump those brakes," Thomas emphasizes.

"I'm sorry, I'm just- I'm feeling a little... Um... Extra passionate here."

"When did you apply eyeshadow?" Patton asks, noticing the dark shadows under Roman's eyes, overpowering the bruises.

"I didn't," Roman says in surprise. "But does it look okay? Because the prince has got to slay."

"Of course it looks good. Why would you think it wouldn't? Do you have self-esteem issues? Am I asking too many questions?" Patton looks like he wants to clap a hand over his mouth, no interference from Deceit required.

_Shit. They're all succumbing to Anxiety's influence. I have to hurry this up._

"Putting on a dark persona is the best way to get anyone's guard up," Deceit continues hurriedly. "But all this reflecting and working on your issues with us has gotten me to think that I overdo it."

"You could never overdo it!" Patton says passionately. Thomas looks like he wants to object.

"Mmm, well," he says.

"You are perfect and special just the way you are," Patton insists. "I don't care how dark your clothes are, you shine. Bright like a diamond!"

"You o- you okay, Patton?" Thomas asks.

"I just got a lot of feelings," Patton says.

"Hey!" Roman exclaims, pointing at Patton. "Patton! Eyeshadow buddies!"

"We _are_ buddies," Patton says. Deceit notices neither of them say anything about Logan's eyeshadow, which is steadily darkening the same as theirs. He just hopes that his isn't. Virgil's would be naturally darker than normal, but it wouldn't get _worse_.

"Look, Anxiety, you're a natural fight-or-flight reflex," Logan says. "That's what you're instilled in humans to act as. And for some people, yes, you're a little heightened. But what's a little extra height, right? I mean, that just means you're tall enough to ride every ride at Disney World. Unless you're_ too_ tall and you get decapitated on It's A Small World. Wow. Sorry. I am reeling right now."

_Yep, he needs to get out of here_, Deceit thinks.

"The point is too much of anything can be counterproductive."

"Well, yeah," Deceit says. "But for me-"

"Hold on," Logan interrupts, whipping out a poster board. "The relationship between anxiety and performance can be expressed on this curve. The Yerkes-Dodson curve. It's named after the psychologists, R.M. Yerkes and J.D. Dodson. They-"

"Get on with it, calculator watch!" Roman demands. _Do you always have to be a prick, Roman?_ Deceit thinks.

"_Ahhh_, loud noises!" Patton yelps.

"Okay, up here is where you want to be," Logan says, pointing to the top of the curve. "The optimum degree of constructive tension. Yes, too much anxiety pushes us to this side of the curve and performance is hindered, which is less than ideal. But without you at all, Thomas is not just on this more relaxed, laid-back side of the graph which is also not ideal when you're trying to get things done, he's all the way down here." He points to the leftmost bottom point of the graph. Zero productivity.

"By the horn of a unicorn, that was going somewhere!" Roman exclaims. "I normally would have fallen asleep, but I am not feeling like my fabulous self right now. I am bitterly jittery and not very glittery."

_Also an asshole, don't forget that_, Deceit thinks.

"So with me, aren't you just always on the other side of that curve thing?" Deceit asks, gesturing at the chart.

"Yerkes-Dodson curve," Logan says, jabbing his finger at it.

"Yeah, that," Deceit says dismissively, enjoying the annoyed look on Logan's face.

"There's ways that I can work on that, Anxiety," Thomas says. "But I'd rather work on it _with_ you than without you at all."

"How?" Deceit asks, pouncing on that and praying Virgil is listening.

"I just need to make you feel listened to," Thomas says. "Like I didn't earlier, and I am so sorry for that. You're like- like a really important alarm clock. Sure, the noise can be sudden and maybe a little unpleasant sometimes, but it's important for me to recognize the concern, register it, and carry on, changing my actions if necessary."

"You're what made Thomas double and triple-check things he needed to study before tests," Logan says. "And-"

"Also, you know that feeling of tinglyness after achieving something he didn't think was possible!" Patton shouts. Logan jumps.

"E equals MC scared!" He blurts out.

"Sorry, was that too loud?" Patton asks. "I was worried I wouldn't get another chance to speak and I wanted to share my thoughts before I forgot."

"Anxiety," Thomas says earnestly. "In small doses, _you're_ what pressures me to get out of bed. To get moving and doing stuff. I'm lucky to have you the way that I do. And I think I could benefit from trying to understand you better. I _want_ to understand you better. And you deserve better than my actions earlier, when I summoned you. You were hurt, and I should have focused on you."

"Thanks, Thomas," Deceit says. "It's cool to see you all trying to be helpful. Well,_ most_ of you, but-"

"Anxiety," Roman says. Deceit tenses. "You're... What pushes Thomas to rehearse and rehearse before performances. You're that nervousness that he feels right before going on stage, but just as he does so, you ease up. And you let his excitement and passion for performance take over. I think that's as good a sign as any that you're willing to work as a team. And that you make us better.

"And I am so,_ so_ sorry for my actions toward you, from hurting you and everything that happened afterward. I behaved reprehensibly, and I should have taken ownership of my actions from the start."

Before Deceit can reply, Roman continues, his eyes wild.

"Was that good? Did I do good?!"

"I'm gonna cry," Patton gasps, his chest heaving. "I just don't want to lose any of you."

"Yerkes-Dodson!" Logan says.

"Uh oh," Deceit says.

"Uh, what the heck is going on?" Thomas asks, his eyes wide as he takes in the chaos happening around him.

"These guys have all been in this corner of your mind for too long," Deceit says, letting Virgil's Tempest Tongue take over. The echo makes his bones shiver. "It's corrupting them. All their main functions are starting to work to drive you far over to the other side of that curve."

"What?!" Thomas exclaims in alarm.

"Hang on," Deceit advises. "We're getting them all out of here. Thomas, breathe in for four seconds." Patton sinks out, sniffling. "Hold your breath for seven seconds." Now Roman. "Now breathe out for eight seconds. Keep it up, Thomas. That's good, keep going."

Deceit breathes a sigh of relief as Thomas sinks out, before he realizes Logan's still there.

"Thank you, Deceit," Logan says quietly, and sinks out himself.


	25. surprise unveiling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> massive thanks to [9Teyya_Winterbound6](https://archiveofourown.org/users/9Teyya_Winterbound6/pseuds/9Teyya_Winterbound6) for inspiring quite a bit of this!

When Deceit slips back into Virgil's room, he finds an exhausted but smiling Virgil, a smug Remus, and-

An unconscious Wrath, slumped against the side of the bed.

"Do I want to know?" Deceit asks, arching an eyebrow.

"He wanted to hurt Roman," Remus says. "He'll learn." He grins crookedly.

"Do you want to be the one to go out?" Deceit asks Virgil. "Logan figured out it was me, but I don't believe anyone else did."

"Yeah, I- I should," Virgil says hoarsely. His face is streaked with tears, smearing his makeup. "That- it helped a lot, I think. Especially Thomas." He sniffles, wiping his nose on the back of his hand. "And Roman apologized. Was it- was it a lie?"

"No," Deceit answers. "He meant it. I just hope he doesn't think that this fixes anything. But you better go out there, they'll wonder where you are." He breathes purple fire into Virgil's face, watching it seep back into Virgil's skin.

"Thanks," Dee," Virgil says tiredly, and sinks out.

"Remus, did you_ have_ to knock him out?" Deceit asks, pointing to a groggy Wrath. "Surely his anger would be obvious."

"And?" Remus asks, studying his morningstar casually. "It's _fun_."

"For you," Wrath contributes, wincing as he moves his head. "You hit _hard_ with that thing."

"And you're setting a bad example, Remus, your brother hurt Virgil and that was wrong, you shouldn't keep hitting Wrath," Deceit says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Hitting him while rescuing Roman was a one-off. He's _Wrath,_ of course he's going to express violent thoughts."

"Oh," Remus says, his face going red. "Sorry, Wrath."

"It's okay," Wrath says, rubbing at the bump on his head. "How's it going with Virgil?"

Remus tunes in, his face going white, then flushing in rage.

"That_ idiot_-" He growls. "I'll show him-"

"Remus, no!" Deceit lunges at him, just as he sinks out. Only to realize too late, as they both crash into the living room, that he's still shifted into Virgil. Thomas's wide eyes at their appearance shows that he's fully aware of that fact, too.

"_Two_ Virgils?" Patton exclaims in surprise. Deceit wants to faceplant into the nearest wall. _Surely_ it's obvious. It _has_ to be obvious.

"Roman, you asshole, I heard what you said!" Remus howls, planting himself firmly in front of the real Virgil and raising his morningstar.

"I didn't mean it!" Roman blurts out, raising his hands in a placating fashion. "His name's cool, okay, I didn't mean it-"

"You told them your name?" Deceit asks in surprise. Virgil's face heats up and he nods, looking like he wants to disappear through the floor.

"What's...going on?" Thomas asks cautiously. "Who are you? Both of you?"

"There are sides to everyone that they'd prefer not to know about," Virgil says. "But you're the boss, Thomas. Anything you want to know, you can. You just have to be open to hearing it."

"Tell me!" Thomas insists. Deceit sighs, letting his real features bleed back out. Thomas stumbles when he sees the scales that cover half of Deceit's face, but try as he might, he can't read any disgust in Thomas's face. Just surprise.

"Deceit, at your service," Deceit says, making a short, half-bow. "No, I don't _always_ speak in lies. And this is Remus. Roman's brother. He's the other half of your Creativity, and yes, I know you don't want to believe me."

"Was it- who did we just talk to in Virgil's room?" Thomas asks, his eyes darting between Deceit, Virgil, and Remus.

"Me," Deceit says carefully. "Virgil came to us in tears, wanting to duck out permanently. I couldn't let you hurt him further, if that's what happened. He could see it all, but he didn't have to handle it himself."

"As self-preservation, I am not surprised, Deceit," Logan calmly says. Roman stares wild-eyed at him.

"Wait, you _knew_?"

"Yes," Logan says, unruffled. "I deduced it. He did an excellent job, however."

"Then why didn't you say something?" Roman demands.

"Why should I?" Logan asks. "He obviously had a reason for doing so, and I didn't believe that Anx- Virgil would let Deceit impersonate him unwillingly, not when he left earlier, so upset. I, for one, thank you, Deceit. You helped us arrive at the appropriate conclusions about Virgil's inclusion in the group."

"Self-preservation," Thomas mutters to himself. "Huh. That...makes sense. Um-" He bites his lip, eyeing Remus. "What did you mean, other half of my Creativity? _Roman_ is Creativity. Right?"

"Roman is like Netflix Kids and Family," Logan says. "Remus encompasses...everything else. As a child, your Creativity was split into 'good' creativity and 'bad' creativity."

"Why?" Thomas asks. Patton takes a deep breath, before Deceit interrupts him.

"One thing at a time, Thomas," he advises, pretending to ignore the grateful look from Patton's direction.

"So, um," Thomas looks down, fiddling with his hands. "I didn't know how to ask earlier, but now that Remus is here, and uh, he has a _weapon,_ I noticed that uh, Roman's black eyes are not created equal, shall we say. Did- did you give him a black eye, Remus?"

"Of course not!" Remus says, outraged. "You think I'm responsible for_ that_ shoddy work?!" He waves his morningstar in the air, narrowly avoiding hitting Virgil with it. "I'm not that incompetent! It would look _way_ worse if I did it!"

"Hey, watch who you're calling incompetent!" Wrath growls, appearing in the living room to a chorus of gasps and a very noticeable flinch from Roman.

_Seriously?_ Deceit thinks. _Why? Why me? Why now?_

"Remus, could you not have shut up for two seconds?" He hisses in the creative side's direction.

"...Oops," Remus says.


	26. panic attack

_Oh no, no, no, too loud, too loud, wrong, bad, loud-_

Virgil slams his hands over his ears in a futile attempt to block out some of the chaos plaguing the living room. Wrath's shouting at Remus, Remus is shouting right back, Deceit and Patton are trying to calm the waters, Logan's explaining things to Thomas, and Roman-

_Where's Roman?_

Virgil's breathing hitches as he frantically scans the room, trying to see past the blur of people. It's hard for him to concentrate, he's shaking so badly, but he can't see the red-and-white-garbed Creativity anywhere.

_He's gonna get me, he's gonna get me, he apologized but words don't mean anything, actions do, and he choked me, he's gonna hurt me and no one's gonna notice until it's too late-_

Virgil thumps gracelessly onto the stairs, only just missing slamming his much abused ankle into a step. As it is, his vision whites out for a few excruciating seconds and when he comes back to himself, he can taste blood in his mouth.

_Not good, not good-_

He struggles to breathe, struggles to _think_, but it's too hard and it feels like he's drowning, curled up into a tight ball on the step as his breath continues to short out and a loud buzzing fills his ears.

Fingers on his wrist- Virgil's head jerks up, wild, to meet Deceit's calm, understanding eyes as his ungloved fingers tap out the rhythm of Virgil's breathing exercise. Four, seven, eight. Slowly, shakily, he matches Deceit's exaggerated breathing pattern, shamed tears burning the corners of his eyes. In the peripheral of his vision, he can see Roman. He looks apologetic, and Virgil doesn't understand why. Surely he finds this pathetic.

"Roman noticed you were having a panic attack," Deceit says, seeing where his eyes are focused. "He knew his efforts would only make you spiral more, so he got me."

Virgil looks up in surprise, only then registering the quiet. It makes his ears ring after the chaos.

"Sorry," he mumbles, taking refuge in his hoodie. His throat is sore and his temples throb. Deceit slowly pulls his gloves back on.

"It is quite all right," Logan tells him. "Are you feeling better?"

"I- I guess," he says. "Um- Wh- Why did-" He looks at Roman, who flushes.

"You didn't deserve a panic attack," Roman says. "I knew that my- my presence would have the opposite effect."

"Yes, but _why_?" Virgil persists. "You- You never cared before." Roman shifts on his feet.

"Because I should have," he says. "Because it's my fault you can hardly stand up right now. Because I've behaved horribly and I- I know that it takes more than an apology, and it _should_, but I am so sorry for the way I've behaved. And not just when I- when I choked you. I never gave you a chance. I never tried to see things the way you do. And you _do_ help Thomas. I can see that now. I should have tried to see it sooner.

"And because if my reaction to my own foolish actions last night is in any way similar to a full-blown panic attack, they're _horrible_ and no one should have to suffer through one alone."

A tiny, crooked smile forms on Virgil's face. Roman looks relieved and shocked to see it, all at once.

"Well, you have that part right," Virgil croaks. "They _are_ horrible. And... Thanks." He doesn't just mean for getting Deceit.

"Does this mean I don't get to bonk him on the head?" Remus complains, hefting his morningstar. "Because I really, really wanted to do that."

"Remus," Roman begins, turning to face his brother. "I'm sorry that I ever felt ashamed of you." Remus's morningstar clatters to the floor as Remus stares at him in shock.

"What?" He asks.

"You're my brother," Roman says. "My twin. We'll- well, we'll never have the same tastes. Thank Disney for that," he mutters. "But that doesn't matter. You play an important part of Thomas's creativity. Only together can we help Thomas fully, the way we were meant to. And my actions have prevented that. I'm sorry."

"Holy moly character development," Patton mumbles. Virgil has to hide his smirk in his sleeve.

"And Thomas," Roman continues. "My actions lately have been pretty villainous. An- Virgil is important for your well-being. So is my brother. So are Deceit and even-" He swallows. "Wrath. They all work together to keep you safe and my brother supplies the creativity that I...can't. Your safety is more important than my stubbornness. I'm sorry that I ever deemed it otherwise."

"Thank you, Roman," Thomas says. "That- I never thought I'd hear you say that, if I'm honest."

"And he is," Deceit murmurs in Virgil's ear as Remus picks up his morningstar and retreats to the stairs, flopping down next to Virgil and Deceit.

"We all work together to help Thomas," Logan says, pushing his glasses further up his nose. "It's good to hear that we're all on the same page now." His eyes skim over the trio on the stairs and Virgil smiles.

"Huh," Wrath says, studying Roman. "I guess he _can_ learn then. At least a little."


	27. crumbling inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for disordered eating and self harm (not cutting)
> 
> also remember his thoughts are d i s o r d e r e d

It's supposed to be all better.

Well- not_ all_ better. He can't wave a magic wand and erase his actions. He can't remove the bruises from Virgil's throat, the swelling of his ankle, or the lump on his head. He can't magic away the fear that still flashes in Virgil's eyes when he moves too quickly or his voice is a shade too loud.

So he stops. When he knows his voice will be too loud and boisterous, he just doesn't talk. When he's brimming with creative energy, dashing off ideas for Thomas to peruse later, he just stays in his room. It's better this way, he reassures himself. The others don't say anything, either, although Deceit keeps giving him searching looks. Roman dismisses them. Deceit is obviously still concerned about Virgil's well-being. Roman has no intention of jeopardizing it. Not again. He never should have in the first place.

He even lets Remus have creative input, although most of his brother's suggestions make him shudder. Still, he passes on the least...horrific ideas, and is rewarded with Remus's brilliant, blinding smile. He hasn't seen that in so long. He's forgotten how warm it makes him feel inside.

He avoids Wrath as much as possible, his own black eye fresh in his mind. Wrath seems to have the same idea, as Roman notices it's certainly _easier_ to avoid the side than should probably be possible.

He's too energetic at dinner, so he stops going. It just gives him more time to create, anyway, and if he gets _really_ hungry, he can just conjure something from the imagination. He rarely does, though. When he notices the little pools of quiet that spread over the table when he appears for lunch and breakfast, he begins skipping those as well, pleading off with weak excuses about work.

He pretends it doesn't hurt that everyone seems to believe him.

Three weeks after the confrontation in Thomas's living room, Roman stares down at the paper in front of him, mind irritatingly blank. He's locked himself in here for two days now, scarcely stopping to sleep and eat, and still. Nothing.

_Do you think Thomas wants a Creativity who can't even create?_ He berates himself. _You're already on thin ice for how you treated Virgil, but at least you could fulfill your purpose! Now what use are you?_

It hurts because he knows it's the truth. He frowns, tapping the end of his pen against his teeth, as he stares down at the empty page. He misses his teeth, the pen slamming into his lip, making him hiss in pain.

"Ow," Roman says, glaring at the offending pen and gingerly feeling his puffy lip. He remembers punching himself in the eye. It's healed now, but sometimes it still feels a little tender. Wrath's handiwork more so, of course. It didn't work and he's glad it didn't, but sometimes he wonders...

Without thinking about it, he slams his fist down into his thigh. An involuntary yelp escapes him at the force. This is nothing like his eye! With his face, he was hesitant, even if he didn't want to admit it at the time. This is full force, no holding back, and it _hurts_. Roman stands up, peeling his pants down, to see a fantastically multicolored bruise spreading across his skin. When he skims his fingers across it, it's warm to the touch. He yanks his pants back up, heedless of the extra pain, and thinks.

After a few minutes, he picks his pen back up and starts writing. Maybe he has a way to jumpstart his creativity, after all.


	28. intervention

Deceit studies Roman's closed door thoughtfully, a frown crossing his face. He's been locked in there for at least two days and the lies emanating from behind the wooden portal are so strong, they nearly double Deceit over. It isn't an unusual occurrence.

Something is badly wrong with Roman and Deceit- all of them- are determined to find out what.

At first, they assume Roman is just trying to re-find his way, to slot himself back into the puzzle that makes up Thomas's sides. He notices that Roman keeps trying to adjust his behavior to make Virgil more comfortable and both he and Virgil appreciate it, this tangible sign that Roman is trying.

But then something _changes_, and Deceit's not sure what.

It starts slowly. Doesn't it always? A meal missed here and there, when Roman's never missed dinner before. He's missed breakfast and lunch before, thanks to quests in the imagination, but dinner is family time, and he hates to disappoint Patton like that. At first, Virgil appreciates the quiet (the respite), but it's _too_ quiet without Roman. It's not the same when there's a big Roman-shaped emptiness at the dinner table and not even Remus can fill it.

Roman gets quieter and quieter, really, until it's hard to even tell he's in the room. And _that's_ not normal either, but when Deceit gently presses the issue, Roman only demurs and changes the subject, barely controlled panic glinting in his eyes.

And then there are the lies. _Oh_, the lies. They swarm around Deceit like a thousand tiny paper cuts, a blizzard so fierce he can scarcely focus on any one individual lie. But what little he has managed to piece together is...concerning.

_What have you done?_ Deceit thinks, studying the resolutely locked door for a moment more before turning away, drifting back to the living room, where everyone else waits.

"Still locked," he reports.

"And he's done something stupid," Wrath rumbles, rubbing at one thigh and wincing. "I can feel _that_ sure as shit."

"I wouldn't call it stupid necessarily," Patton says diplomatically.

"Yeah, Wrath, self-harm's not stupid," Virgil puts in.

"Sorry," Wrath says. There's genuine regret in his eyes when he looks at Virgil. "I didn't mean it that way."

"I can get my bro," Remus suggests, eyes manic-bright. Normally, Deceit would say not a chance. Now, however, he's not sure there's any other way they will _get_ a chance, not if Roman won't open the door and come out.

"Okay," Deceit gives his permission. "But please deliver him unharmed, Remus, would you? This is an intervention to _help_ him, not chastise him."

"I know that!" Remus cries, insulted. "Don't worry, leave it to me." He winks and sinks out.

"Should I be worried?" Virgil asks. "Because I am."

"Here you go!" Remus crows in triumph as he re-appears, a protesting Roman slung over one shoulder.

"Put me down!" Roman demands and Remus does with a shrug, letting him flop into a recliner. Roman looks around with wild eyes and Deceit is hard put to hide his shock because Roman looks _terrible_.

His uniform is baggy on him, his cheeks sunken. His eyes peer out from bruised sockets, reddened and jerky, darting everywhere. He looks like Virgil on one of his _extra_ bad days, and that frightens Deceit, if he's honest with himself. For Thomas's ego to be in _this_ state...

"What did I do?!" Roman begs, wrapping his arms around himself. "I'm sorry, whatever it is, I'll fix it!"

"Princey..." Virgil whispers in horror. Roman recoils.

"You're scared of me," he whispers brokenly. "You're still scared of me. I'm sorry. I'll go back to my room, I'll-"

"No," Virgil interrupts. "I'm not scared _of_ you. I'm scared _for_ you. You look _awful_, Roman. What _happened_?"

"N-nothing," Roman stammers. "I just- I just had a bit of a creative slump, that's all! It's all fixed now!"

"Hitting yourself isn't a fix," Wrath says bluntly and Roman pales so quickly, Deceit's afraid he's going to pass out.

"Wh- What?" Roman whispers. Terror fills his face, there one moment and gone the next.

"Oh, you didn't know that, did you," Wrath says, twiddling his fingers. "It's not just your anger I feel. It's physical pain, too. Especially what you inflict on yourself in anger. I'm shit at dealing with it, but." He shrugs. "I know it's not the best way to deal with things."

"What would you know?" Roman lashes out. "All I wanted- all I _want_ is to be _good enough_ and now- now this isn't good enough either?" He laughs, the sound harsh and cracked. "It's what you _wanted,_ you can't tell me you didn't."

"What do you mean?" Logan asks carefully, adjusting his glasses.

"You all seemed so happy," Roman says. "When I- when I wasn't around. You just stopped talking when I _was_, like I was just- just a bother. A burden. And- and I get that, I do, I wouldn't want to be around me either, but-" The truth is bittersweet on Deceit's tongue.

"I don't understand_ this_," Roman finishes. "Unless- I just want to know what I'm still doing wrong." He bows his head while the others exchange looks of horror.

"Roman," Deceit begins softly. "This is an intervention for you not because you've done anything wrong, but because we're _worried._"

"That includes me," Virgil says, picking at his sleeves. "I mean...shit, Princey, I appreciate you trying to be considerate, but _this_ is... I don't want you to hurt yourself. Physically or mentally. You deserve to _eat._"

"Virgil is right," Logan says, picking up the thread. "And I am afraid that you mis-read the situation, Roman. We were discussing how we could find out what was wrong and how we might be able to _help_ you. It was never intended to shut you out or make you feel like you had to avoid meal times or being out of your room. I'm sorry that you felt that way."

"You still mean so much to us!" Patton bursts out. "Just because you made a mistake before doesn't mean that we hate you or that we would want you to never leave your room. You're worth more than your role, too, you don't have to supply Thomas with creativity in order for us to care about you."

"I like sharing my ideas with Thomas," Remus says, shifting from foot to foot. "But Thomas still needs _you_. And I...I care about you. You know. Since we're brothers."

"What they all said," Wrath says. "Also just because I gave you a black eye before doesn't mean I hate you, either. I've just felt kinda awkward about it all, and I guess that didn't help."

Roman's shoulders bow inward, before he raises his head, and Deceit can see his face is streaked with messy tears.

"Please let us help you," Deceit quietly says.


	29. breakdown

"Why- why would you want to?" Roman whispers. Virgil's emotions splinter that much more, seeing the confused look on Roman's face. He doesn't understand how Roman has spiraled down so _quickly_. It doesn't seem possible and yet the truth is staring him in the face. Now, more than ever, staring into the devastation in Roman's eyes, does Virgil understand how the ego can be wounded.

"Because we care about you!" Patton insists, fiercer than Virgil has ever seen him. "Roman, even when everything happened with Virgil, I still _cared_ about you. I was disappointed, but I never stopped caring. I could never. You are _so_ important, please believe us."

"But-" Roman stops, swallowing hard.

"No but's," Patton says firmly, Logan nodding in agreement.

"And Thomas needs you," Deceit points out. Perhaps it is cruel to bring Thomas into this, but Virgil can't deny its effectiveness. Roman winces, and some of the chaos filling his eyes clears. (Besides, it's not like Deceit is _wrong._)

"...Okay," Roman finally accepts in a mumble, wrapping his arms around himself like they can shut out the world. Virgil knows the feeling well.

"All right, up you get," Patton says, taking charge. "First things first. You need food."

"I'd suggest chicken noodle soup or the like," Logan says. "You shouldn't eat anything too heavy for your stomach if you have skipped this many meals."

Patton glances impishly at Logan, then lowers his voice to a conspiratorial whisper.

"You can still have a cookie," he says, with a wink, and they're all rewarded with the ghost of a smile on Roman's lips. As Logan, Patton, and Wrath coax Roman into the kitchen, Virgil turns to Deceit and Remus, his eyes enormous.

"Dee, what _happened_?" He asks, keeping his voice low. Deceit frowns.

"Roman has been living in the midst of a card house composed entirely of lies," Deceit says. "Today, at least some of them have come tumbling down. Hopefully, this will only work out for the better."

"My brother doesn't do anything by half measures!" Remus adds cheerily. An almost _proud_ light glints in his eyes.

"Yeah, that's not really a good thing right now, Remus," Virgil says. Remus droops.

"I know," he mutters.

"I never wanted him to hurt himself," Virgil says, faltering. "I_ never_-" Deceit stoops, squeezing his hand with gentle pressure.

"I know," he murmurs. "We all know. It will be all right. Now come on. The others will wonder where we are."

When they enter the kitchen, Roman is sitting in his customary chair, flanked by Logan and Wrath, while Patton busies himself at the stove, stirring a pot of chicken noodle soup.

"I er- conjured it," Patton admits, seeing Virgil's surprised look when he turns around. "But I can never manage to get it properly warm that way..."

"I don't care," Roman says, his voice cracking. "Anything is good."

"Have you been sleeping?" Logan asks. Roman hesitates.

"Not- not really," he mumbles. "It's easier to just stay up and- and keep working."

"You should sleep after you eat," Logan decides.

"No!" Roman bursts out, freezing everyone in their tracks. "I- I mean-" He stops, licking cracked lips. "I don't want to sleep alone."

"Then we'll have a slumber party in the living room," Patton decides. "Is that all right?"

"Y-yes," Roman stammers, and bursts into quiet tears.


	30. awkward apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not entirely happy with it but oh well

Roman surreptitiously pinches himself as Patton flutters around him, ensuring that his favorite blanket is tucked securely around him, and that his hot chocolate is within easy reach. His stomach is pleasantly full of chicken noodle soup (and the chocolate chip cookie Patton ostentatiously slipped him while Logan pretended not to see). He feels like this must be a dream, that any moment he'll wake up and find himself sprawled painfully on the floor of his room or unpeel himself from his desk, drool gathered at the corner of his mouth and pencil painfully imprinted on his cheek.

But so far, that hasn't happened. The others are arranging themselves around the living room, when Wrath suddenly approaches.

"Hey, guys, can I talk to Roman alone for a second?" He asks. Roman controls his flinch as Wrath sits next to him. The others vanish into the kitchen, and he ignores how much he wants to call them back. He is a_ prince_ damn it, he will be_ fine_.

"I wanted to apologize," Wrath says. "For the whole uh, kidnapping and punching you in the face thing. I thought it was the right thing to do at the time- hell, maybe it was, I don't know- but I'm still sorry that I did it. Especially the punching you in the face thing. I just wanted you to understand Virgil."

Roman stares at him in disbelief. Misunderstanding, Wrath starts to stand up.

"I'll just go, I guess," he says. "I understand-"

"No," Roman blurts out, reaching for the sleeve of Wrath's jacket, then thinking better of it. "It's- it's okay. I was, well, an asshole." Red colors the tips of his ears. "I wouldn't say that you punching me helped, but your _words_ did. Thank you."

Wrath blinks, obviously surprised.

"Huh," he says. "Well, I'm glad that something did. Virgil's an amazing person, and he deserves the world."

"I can hear you," Virgil shouts from the kitchen. "And you're wrong."

"I'm _right_ and stop eavesdropping," Wrath calls back. "That goes for all of you!"

"We would never eavesdrop," Patton says. "But I'm loving what's going on in there!" Wrath plants his face in both his hands, scrubbing his palms roughly down his chin. Roman has to laugh, even though the sound is a little rusty.

"I guess I'm not dreaming all of this then," Roman says, awkwardly scratching at his hair. Wrath's eyebrows furrow.

"Why do you say that?" He asks.

"Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine you apologizing," Roman says, and laughs weakly again.

"I think I changed my mind," Wrath says. Roman's eyes fly to his in alarm, but Wrath shakes his head. "Not on the apology. What I said back then. That I don't like you. I mostly just said that because I was pissed off."

"Understandable," Roman says. He takes a nervous sip of his hot chocolate, still warm, though the marshmallows have melted into it. "I don't hate you, either. You just...make me nervous."

"Maybe we can work on that," Wrath says slowly. A slight smile tips up the corners of Roman's mouth.

"I would like that," he says.

At that, the others flood back into the room, Virgil leading the charge.

"Good!" Virgil exclaims.

"Virgil!" Wrath shouts. "You're not supposed to-"

"Yeah, well, it's kind of my job, remember?" Virgil counters, unphased by Wrath's show of anger. It makes Roman wonder how much of it is a show.

"Shut up," Wrath says. Virgil just laughs.

"Roman, would you like to watch a movie before you sleep?" Logan asks. "I would be amenable to Disney."

"I, uh, yes, please?" Roman asks shyly, his hands tightening around his mug. Patton smiles warmly at him.

"Which movie, Ro?"

"_Finding Nemo_," Roman requests.

"Sure," Patton says, popping the movie in. The others re-arrange themselves around the living room again. Roman finds himself sandwiched between Patton and his brother. It is not unpleasant.

"Sup, bro," Remus says in his ear, pulling a stick of deodorant out of thin air.

"No," Deceit says, glancing over at him. "Come on, Remus, at least try the regular snacks before you whip the deodorant out."

"I could whip something else out," Remus says, wiggling his eyebrows. Roman looks askance at him as he doubles over, cackling.

"Do not," Deceit groans, massaging the bridge of his nose. He looks exhausted.

"Fine," Remus grumbles. "Only for you, Big Dee."

"_Why_ do you have to-" Deceit cuts himself off. "Never mind. I'll take it."

"Oh, that's no fun, Deester," Remus chirps.

"The movie is starting," Logan informs them, before it can escalate any further.

Roman falls asleep somewhere in the middle, his hot chocolate long sipped down to the dregs, and blanket tucked in around him. He unconsciously chooses Remus as a pillow, and for once, Remus doesn't do anything to wake him.

Instead, he falls asleep himself, tucked between the arm of the sofa and his brother. It feels like old times.


	31. a snake's confession

Deceit wakes early the next morning. After watching _Finding Nemo,_ Patton had transformed the sofa into a bed big enough for everyone to fit in comfortably. The Creativity twins still take up the middle, tangled together and sleeping peacefully. Even the dark circles under Roman's eyes have lightened.

Deceit glances next to him, his heart thumping uncomfortably fast. Virgil's curled up in a ball, using his crumpled hoodie as a pillow. Patton found a purple blanket and it's drawn up tight around his shoulders.

Deceit doesn't know how he feels about Virgil anymore. When this all kicked off, he felt protective. Protective and angry. He had relinquished Anxiety to the others, and all he received in return was poor treatment. When Roman hurt him, the anger had roared higher and higher, like a flame that can't be extinguished. Impersonating Virgil when he had 'ducked out' was a last ditch effort to convince the anxious side that he really_ is_ needed, and Deceit's still relieved that it actually worked (even if Logan did suss him out).

But now that everything has calmed down, his feelings seem to have...changed. He keeps getting lost in the warm brown of Virgil's eyes, the way his hair flops over his forehead. He wants to run his fingers through that purple-dyed hair, feeling the silky strands slide through his fingers. He wants to kiss the soft skin of Virgil's forehead or cheek (he doesn't dare think of kissing Virgil's _mouth_).

"Dee?" Virgil asks, his voice thick with sleep. Deceit jolts, startled to see Virgil's eyes open, foggy and unfocused. "What are you doing up?"

"I can't sleep," Deceit answers. "Actually..." He swallows. Does he really want to do this? _Should_ he do this? What if Virgil doesn't feel the same way? Can he handle it? What if-

"I can feel your anxiety from here," Virgil says, yawning and covering his mouth with one hand. Now that the blanket has slipped nearly to his waist, Deceit can see how baggy his shirt is on him. The stress of not knowing what's wrong with Roman has affected _his_ eating habits, too.

"May I speak with you?" Deceit asks, his words spilling out in a rush, completely unlike him. "In private, I mean? It is nothing bad, I promise."

"Uh, okay," Virgil answers quietly. "The kitchen, then?" Deceit nods stiffly and slips out of bed, careful not to disturb the others, who are still asleep. Virgil follows, shrugging his hoodie back on.

"So uh, what's up?" Virgil asks as he slides into a kitchen chair. Deceit swallows hard again.

_You can do this_, he reminds himself, desperately wishing it wasn't tinged with the sharp tang of a lie. _What's the worst thing he can do? Say no? You can handle that-_

_No, you can't. But you might as well get it over with._

Virgil looks at him, confused and concerned, and Deceit's feelings well up even more, spilling into each nervous gesture.

"I- um-" He stops. "I don't really know how to say this," he confesses. "It- it is never something that I've had to say before. I-"

"Deceit, calm down," Virgil interrupts, closer than he should be. Only then does Deceit realize that he's started to hyperventilate. "It's fine, okay? You don't have to say it. What- whatever it is. It's okay."

"I _do,_ though," Deceit says. "I- I really like you, Virgil. As more than a friend. I- I wanted to tell you that. You don't have to reciprocate, of course," he hastens to say. "I understand if you don't. It just felt wrong not to say something."

Virgil laughs, and the sound is warm with wonder.

"Dee, I like you, too," he admits. "I just never,_ ever_ thought you'd like me back. But after- well, after everything that's happened, I just- I really, really like you."

Deceit stares at him, wide-eyed with shock, and Virgil grins.

"Bet you never thought you'd hear that, huh?" Virgil asks. Dazed, Deceit shakes his head. "Well, uh, I never thought I'd hear you say it first, so we're even."

"You're incredible," Deceit says softly. "You do such a brilliant job, helping Thomas. I've seen you put in more work, to ensure that you are helpful, you know. It has not gone unnoticed." Virgil goes pink. "You're so cute when you blush," Deceit continues, a slight hiss coming to his voice. "I could drown in your eyes for an eternity."

"Oh," Virgil says breathlessly. Deceit wonders when the other side became so close, then decides he doesn't care. It doesn't matter anyway, except that he can see a smattering of freckles across the anxious side's cheeks, barely visible even at close range, and his breath stirs Virgil's bangs.

"Virgil?" Deceit asks. "May I kiss you?" Virgil nods, so hard it must hurt.

"Yes, _please_," he chokes out, and Deceit lets his mouth slot over Virgil's, lets his hands come up and pull Virgil closer. He yanks his gloves off in a frenzy of impatience, letting newly freed fingers tangle in the soft fluff of Virgil's hair, cupping the back of Virgil's skull, as his tongue traces Virgil's bottom lip, slipping past it when Virgil opens his mouth with a soft exhalation. It's sloppy and wet and _perfect_ and Deceit thinks that he could kiss Virgil forever, he could sit here and never-

"Virgil and Deceit, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" Remus shouts, and Deceit and Virgil leap apart, hair mussed and cheeks flushed.

"Really, Remus?" Deceit asks, sending the creative side a glare. Remus only smirks.

"_Yes_," he says.


	32. homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit, look at me finishing this already, ages later

Virgil flops over, resting his feverish cheek on the table as the others begin to stir, roused from Remus's exuberant shouts. 

"Are you all right?" Deceit asks quietly, once Remus has danced back into the living room. From the sounds of it, he's started a pillow fight with his brother.

"Yeah," Virgil says, not having to think about it. "Yeah, I am. Are- are you?" Deceit smiles, lifting one of Virgil's hands and depositing a delicate kiss on the back of his knuckles.

"Always," Deceit murmurs.

"Ohhh, you two are so _cute_!" Patton squeals, coming into the kitchen. Virgil reddens again, but doesn't jerk his hand away.

"Sorry," Patton says, his hands cupping his cheeks. "I just- I heard Remus and I had to come see for myself."

"Well, now you've seen," Virgil mumbles. "Remus was right. I want to kill him myself."

"Ooh, I'd love that!" Remus says cheerily, coming back into the kitchen with a pillow slung across one shoulder. "Decapitate me so I can hold my own head and look at my headless corpse!"

"You are impossible," Deceit says, but there's fondness in his words and they all know it.

"About time," Wrath grumbles, slinking into the kitchen. "You two were obvious as shit." 

"Were not," Virgil denies, his voice cracking.

"You really were," Wrath says, smirking. "Especially Dee."

"I don't have to stay here and put up with this," Virgil says, half-laughing. He grasps Deceit's hand, sinking out just as Patton tells them to remember to come back for breakfast.

They land on Virgil's bed in a heap. Virgil untangles himself, his face burning.

"Sorry," he mumbles. Deceit half-smiles.

"No need to apologize," he murmurs, reaching out and tracing the curve of Virgil's jaw. His touch leaves goosebumps in its wake.

"This is incredibly gay," Virgil says. Deceit grins.

"I know," he says. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing," Virgil says. "Um, I just want to thank you."

"For what?" Deceit asks, tucking an unruly strand of purple hair behind his ear.

"Everything," Virgil says. "Even after I- even after I left, you still helped me. You didn't have to. And when Roman did...that. You helped me even more. And it just meant so, so much that someone wanted to help _me_. Someone who _knew_ me. Like... I'm sure Patton would have tried to help, but it wouldn't have been the same. He didn't know _me_. He didn't even know my name. But you..." He trails off. 

"You have always been so very important to me," Deceit says softly. His eyes glitter with their intensity. "It is a bonus that the others now also recognize your worth, as it always should have been."

Virgil flushes, finding himself drawn closer and closer to the part-snake side. Deceit cups his cheek and leans in, wordlessly asking permission. Virgil nods, breathless, and their lips meet, in a whisper-soft brush of sweetness. Virgil feels like he's a bottle of champagne fizzing over as he nestles closer against Deceit.

"I'm glad Thomas knows you exist," he says suddenly. "That he accepts you. He- he does, right?"

"Yes," Deceit confirms. "I haven't detected a single lie in that department. Regarding me, Wrath, _or_ Remus. Surprisingly enough." A crooked smile touches Virgil's mouth.

"I'm not surprised," he says. "If Thomas accepts me, then- then he should accept you, too. You're just as important." He nudges Deceit's shoulder with his own, making Deceit smile.

"Patton will be wondering where we are," Deceit says finally, a real touch of regret entering his tone. "We should probably go to breakfast."

"Or we could stay here all day and snuggle," Virgil counters. Just as Deceit opens his mouth to reply, there's a knock on the door.

"Virgil? Deceit? Breakfast!" Patton calls, and Deceit dissolves into quiet laughter as Virgil puts his head in his hands.

"Or not," he says. "I guess we _are_ going to breakfast after all. If Remus starts singing again, do I have permission to knock him out with his own mace?"

"No," Deceit says equably. "I'm sure his brother will attempt it at some point for you, however. If Wrath doesn't get to it first. Shall we?"

"We shall," Virgil says, scrambling off the bed and offering one hand to Deceit. When their hands touch, he feels electrified. His face warms as they head toward the kitchen, hand in hand.

Perhaps things have a way of working out, after all.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Battle of Kitchen](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20334673) by [pinkie2054](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkie2054/pseuds/pinkie2054)
  * [Aftermath of The Battle of Kitchen](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20735765) by [Katrilop](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrilop/pseuds/Katrilop)


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